Dear Shitheel
Posted on February 2, 2010 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Bike Kwak | 3 Comments
It only took me some 4 hours in my car to get to Port Townsend this Saturday. Rain. Traffic. More rain. More traffic. Ferry schedules. I’d also footed the bill for a tank of gas and paid for two ferry rides. So to say I was disappointed when, after finding Chase, Christopher and Jess at Sirens Pub pleasantly already half loaded, and we cheerfully wandered over to the Water Street Brewery to partake in the Strange Brew Beer Festival only to be told that they had in fact just moments ago ran out of beer completely… to say I was disappointed would definitely fall a little short of summarizing my feelings on the topic. What a bummer.
But it turns out, that wouldn’t be the best part of this story. If I thought the disappointment for spending all day to get to a beer festival that didn’t have any beer was awesome, it really didn’t begin to compare to what happens next. This is where you come in, Shitheel.
Because in the brief 50 minutes it took me to find the three cyclists who’d invited me to join them (I was going to give them a ride back to the Mukilteo ferry terminal since it’d become a rainy dark mess out there), and while I was being shot down at the gates of Awesometown and being detoured to No-beer-ville in Gofuckyourselfistan; It’s in this oh so brief period of time that you, Shitheel, took it upon yourself to STEAL MY MESSENGER BAG OUT OF THE BACK OF MY CAR.
I didn’t notice it’s loss until we got to the Ferry Terminal because I was busy strapping bikes and drunk bicyclists into le auto at the time. (I ask Jess, can you hand me my camera out of my bag? Jess says, what bag?)
Yes, there went my Chrome Messenger Bag ($175), my Outdoor Research GorTex Hardshell Jacket ($300), my three pairs of gloves ($175), two MiNewt Bicycle Lights ($250), arm warmers ($50), Miscellaneous Bicycle Tools, tire pumps, and locks ($200), my wool Tam hat that I’ve been wearing for 20 odd years now, my sketchbook with my frame bag patterns, my camera ($400~), and my f’ing checkbook.
These are good and necessary tools to doing what I do, and replacing them isn’t cheap, or convenient. Or even possible in some cases.
I try not to put a lot of value on things – it’s just stuff after all. I’m not kidding. I’ll lament the inconvenience, or having to re-purchase, but I’m not sentimental about much and possessive/materialistic about almost nothing. I’m pretty good about giving stuff away – putting into the karmic pool I like to think. Well, turns out I was bummed about the hat. I guess after 20 years you get attached to something like that. Didn’t see that coming. Crazy. Anyhow, the rest?
Well I have renters insurance for $12/mo and apparently I’m told it covers things like this. I wasn’t looking forward to haggling with the insurance company about what was actually taken (no jeez I didn’t have receipts for it all anymore) but I can’t be the first person in that same position. Surely they wouldn’t deny my claim based on that? Heck Lee said his bike got stolen/banged up or something and BOOM they gave him a new bike almost no questions asked. He’s basically why I even got renters insurance. Seemed like a good idea, and possibly the only way to protect my bikes.
I think to myself, well maybe this will work out and I’d get to replace my stuff with new stuff. Not a horrible result given the options open to me. I could live with that okay.
So I called the Port Townsend PD from the ferry terminal, filed a police report and got my case number. I’d file a claim with insurance tomorrow if possible, cancel my checkbook on Monday – or whenever Chase Manhattan Bank decided to open up – and everything would be okay… ultimately. Inconvenient, frustrating and dis-empowering to be sure, and boy was I angry, but I’d be all right. Bruised ego but that’d be the worst of it. I finally said to myself, just chill out, this is going to work out. Blessing in disguise. Just roll with it and let insurance handle the details.
If this story’d ended there, it would have sucked but would have been okay. Yeah, no. We’re not done apparently. HERE’S WHERE IT STARTS GETTING GOOD.
The next day Port Townsend Police Department calls – they’ve recovered my bag! Sweet I say to myself – I get my sketchpad and hat back, and I don’t have to replace my bag – which I really like actually. Cop says everything seems to be in there that I reported, even the checkbook “which you’ll still want to cancel” he informs me. Yup. On it. But the camera was gone.
I’m like, dang. That’s a bummer, but I guess I’ll just file my claim for the camera. Not as good, but good enough.
The camera was $400. Turns out my renters insurance deductable is $500.
This, SHITHEEL, is where this story really gets awesome. Because not only did I waste an entire Saturday going to a beer festival that didn’t have any beer so you could steal all my shit, and not only have I been completely fucked out being able to file an insurance claim to cover it, but I ALSO get to eat the cost of a replacement camera AND the cost of gas and ferry rides a second time JUST so I can go back and claim what remains of my stuff.
Is there a cherry to put on the cake? WHY YES THERE IS THANKS FOR ASKING. Yes, the cherry on the cake here is it turns out I ALSO get to take a half-day of fucking PTO to do it because the Port Townsend Police Department Evidence Room is only open from 9am to 6pm Monday thru Friday. I must take time off work to drive up there and claim it in person I’m told (on the phone). Can’t mail it.
SO!
Dear Shitheel,
You should have just fucking burnt my bag. By leaving it you actually made it worse – you basically triple fucked me with this little added bonus. While I’m glad to get my stupid hat and bag and stuff back in general, I actually had a small dim light at the end of this fuckall tunnel that was my completely wasted and blown Saturday with the insurance angle. By recovering it, you even managed to fuck me out of that.
If I find you I’m going to break your fucking fingers off one by one and feed them to you, but I hope you like your new camera and the $30 you’ll inevitably sell it for on Craigslist.
Did I mention that one of my 2010 resolutions was to Try and Not Say the F Word for 2010? Yeah? Fuck you, you fucking fuck.
Die in a fire.
(Thanks to the Port Townsend Police Department though. I do appreciate the follow through. Lovely little town you have there.)
Badass Photo Links
Posted on January 19, 2010 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Bike Kwak | Leave a Comment
Click the pic for more images.
Andre found this cool gallery of some kids bike touring on the Upper Penninsula in 1979. Man, they look like us. Again, click the pic for the gallery.
And this is a pretty groovy blog. I dunno why but figured I’d throw it up here all the same.
http://undergroundvelo.blogspot.com/
L.A. road rage doctor gets five years
Posted on January 13, 2010 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Bike Kwak, In-the-news | 3 Comments
http://velonews.competitor.com/2010/01/news/l-a-road-rage-doctor-gets-five-years_102274
Photo: Chris Roberts (permission pending)
Not be a downer, but this deserves posting. It’s a few days old and I didn’t want it to compete against the xmas tree massacre post, but I wanted to get it up all the same.
Christopher Thomas Thompson, age 60, is a physician. He is also the CEO of a rather successful medical records company called Medical Data Exchange.
Or I should say, he was.
On the morning of the 4th of July 2008, angry that a pair of cyclists bombing down a hill at 30mph were slowing him down, Dr. Thompson yelled obscenities at them for blocking the road, gunned his car and passed them on the left within inches, and then stood on his brakes.
They slammed into the back of his car going well over 30mph.
As Peterson lay on the side of the road, Thompson called 911, told the operator of the accident and added that the riders would probably “tell you they are seriously injured, but they’re not.” Thompson also told the first police officer on the scene that he intentionally hit his brakes in order to “teach (the two riders) a lesson.”
Dr. Thompsons defence team argued that he was trying to stop to take a photograph of what he believed was illegal activity by the cyclists when they accidentally slammed into the back of his car. They also argued that the cyclists were belligerent – while bombing this hill at 30mph – and may have fallen due to the inherent instability of bicycles in general.
Well that’s funny because upon hearing about it, another cyclist named Patrick Watson went to the Prosecuting Council with a police report he filed against Dr. Thompson doing the very same thing just a couple months previously.
Watson says the motorist made a second attempt to hit them and then sped away. He (Watson, sic) used his cell phone to record the vehicle’s vanity plate, TCH MDX, an abbreviation of Thompson’s medical records company. That plate was also on the back of a burgundy Infiniti driven by Thompson in the July 4 assault. While Watson reported the March incident to authorities, prosecutors declined to pursue the case at the time.
On Friday the good Dr Thompson was sentenced.
The state of California has also suspended Thompsons medical license and is up for possible permanent revocation.
Primum non nocere asshole. 5 years? You got off light.
How fucking horrible.
I guess the thing to take away from this though is the proper way to deal with incidents like this. Try to keep from getting hurt, get out of the way as fast as you can, and document your ass off.
The laws of man may be on your side but the laws of physics cannot be ignored – fair or unfair. The laws of man are slow. The laws of physics are immediate. I don’t care how badass you are, or how in the right you are, or how outraged you are – you can’t take on a Honda with your bike. It’s just not going to happen. The only real thing you can do in situations like this is to get thyself out of harms way and try to record the plate to the best of your ability – AND THEN CALL IT IN.
Unfortunately the Seattle Police Department on the phone WILL make you feel like a crybaby shitheel for wasting their time with it – at least in Seattle***. But they will record it. It will be on record.
I’m not saying these guys could have ridden more defensively and avoided this situation. Not a chance. Maniac with a 200hp weapon on a narrow highway road with a grudge? Forget about it. I’m just saying, in general, for the rest of us riding in the day to day, you gotta take your survival into your own hands a little. I’d rather avoid a bad situation then try and rely on the American legal system to punish someone for fucking me up, possibly permanently.
I know how helpless you can feel on a bike when suddenly Big Metal Objects start swinging in your direction, intentionally or accidentally. In some of us it inspires the flight mechanism, in some of us the fight mechanism, in most of us quite a bit of both. In those instances you really have to keep your head and go immediately into documentation mode, like at the same time you go into survival mode. Because in this country, in our legal system, whomever has the most documentation wins. Your camera phone is your friend. A picture really is worth a thousand words in legaleese.
PS – HERE’S ANOTHER LINK TO THE ROAD RAGE DOCTOR
And let’s not forget the below.
The driver of the pickup that hit Kylie’s parents from behind then dragged them some 200 feet. No booze, so no charges brought forward.
Or THIS SHITHEEL who killed two cyclists in Dallas after admitting to having more than 5 drinks in him, and having smoked a bunch of weed. Two years they gave him.
If this is the same legal system you’re hoping to protect you with the threat of deterrence or punishment… well it seems like a poor place to put your bets if you ask me.
Please. Ride safe out there kids.
Onward.
*** Truth is Seattle PD make you feel like a crybaby for calling in a car accident too, or practically anything not gun/gang related. Hello, there’s been a pretty sizeable car accident and the dudes in one of the cars are completely drunk out of their minds. Is anything on fire or is anyone hurt? Do you really need us to come out there? Really? REALLY?
Or remember when I got hit by a school bus full of school kids? TOOK SPD AN HOUR AND A HALF TO SEND A CRUISER. I called 911 three times. A State Patrol officer happened by and tried to get them to send a cruiser faster, nothing. Yes Mr Policeman come and do your job, I pay my taxes. Yes, seriously. If you can wander around and give me a ticket for not wearing a helmet or parking in a red zone neighborhood when I only have a yellow zone parking sticker, you can come out and document my getting run over by a fucking school bus full of fucking kids. Yeah. It still makes me angry.
2010 Xmas Tree Massacre & Calendar Release Party – the aftermath
Posted on January 10, 2010 -- Edit Post
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Wrecks | 5 Comments
Dude. Seriously.
Between myself and a couple others, we prestocked 14 good sized trees at my house. That’s out of some 40 trees that eventually showed up. We prefunked at my place, strapped trees to trailers and trees to bikes and trees to bags and rode out to Westlake Center to meet everyone else.
Video from Rory. This is how we got the trees out there.
Words don’t cover this. And really, it takes everyone to tell the story properly. So these are the pictures – from everyone. What an incredible mess. Click the picture for the flickr/smugmug/gallery link. Thanks everyone. Amazing night.
Alex's Gallery
Alex's Gallery
Alex''s Gallery - pictued BTM
Mordac's Gallery - pictured, Joby and Keylime
After this mess, we stumbled over to the Sloop and had our 2010 Calendar Release Party. Miles, you rule. This was fun. Everyones picture was great. The calendar looks excellent. There aren’t any more for sale I’m told, which is really too bad. But given the financial requirements, don’t blame him. He footed the whole bill and just pushed to break even. Awesome job Miles. Thanks to Henry Rose and Sean Sweeney for shooting the pictures.
After all that, fires, booze, and sharpies… the calendar signing sorta got out of hand…
Another victim of the Sharpie Armageddon. Pictured - The Beard
Oh, and my picture? This is me, Mr November.
It’s going to be a good year.
Onward.
http://point83.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7849
http://point83.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7834
Tomorrow: .83 Annual Xmas Tree Massacre AND 2010 .83 Bicycle Boys Calendar Release Party
Posted on January 6, 2010 -- Edit Post
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Events, Wrecks | 1 Comment
Zomg that’s a mouthful.
So, yes. Tomorrow are TWO events that are so awesome they can barely be in the same room together. FIRST OFF – it is the annual .83 Xmas Tree Massacre! At 7pm we will meet at Westlake Center and at 730 we will ride/carry/haul all the Xmas trees we can find/carry to Golden Gardens and have a completely f-ing epic bonfire on the beach and send them to their maker.
CHECK OUT MY BLOG POST FROM LAST YEAR ABOUT IT
After the massacre, we will roll – drunkenly – to the Sloop where we will have the 2010 .83 Bicycle Boys Calendar Release Party around 10~10:30! So help me god, I’m in it. I think I’m Mr November. I dunno. It’s going to be great. And by great I mean terrible. And by terrible I mean great. Come on out. Even if you don’t have a tree to burn. It’s going to be a dry night tomorrow night (c’mon positive thinking). Help see 2010 and a whole new decade in with your favorite drunken bike morons over fire, booze, bikes, and… and… I forgot where I was going with that.
All (over 21+) are invited and encouraged to come.
Tonight: More tree hunting.
Tomorrow: FIRE!
Onward.
Chinese Man Throws Bicycle at Thieves on Scooter!
Posted on December 30, 2009 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Bike Kwak, Videos | Leave a Comment
Seriously, this guy rules. When in doubt, make a mess and work it out later. Of course, I’m a fall-on-your-sword kinda guy so this sort of trainwreck approach is right up my alley.
Onward!
Alex Wetmore’s “Gifford”
Posted on December 29, 2009 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Bike Kwak | Leave a Comment
Alex has built – from scratch – a beautiful bicycle. This is his first “from scratch” bike ever, and the culmination of something like 9~12 months of slow, methodical work. Alex is known among us as a metal worker, a rack builder – even the creator of a couple hacked up and rebuilt cargo bikes. And now, the father of the Gifford.
2009 "Gifford" - by Alex Wetmore
Finished fork
Eccentric bottom bracket
2009 "Gifford" - by Alex Wetmore
It’s a 650b touring bike with racks and fenders and a 14 speed Rohloff internally geared hub. And it might be the nicest bike I’ve ever ridden. Dynamo front hub, 3 water bottle cages on the triangle, will take 2″ knobbies without fenders, eccentric bottom bracket… Go read his blog. He talks about the bike and a few blog entries back and you can see the process he took to get here.
Meant to write this two weeks ago when he rode it to the .83 Greenlake Race of Champions. Nicely done Alex.
Onward.
sooo excited….!
Posted on December 29, 2009 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Bike Kwak | 4 Comments
…I’m doing the pee pee dance. But I don’t want to jinx it so not going say anything about it specifically. So here’s some links to things I’ve also been looking at lately. http://freightbaggage.org/
Freight Baggage. These guys do some cool sewing projects. Rack bags, backpacks, and lots of other things. That last picture is of a “road soda”. I bought several of these and gave them away as Xmas presents this year. I personally have two of them and think they’re great.
Also looking at the stuff at http://www.epicdesignsalaska.com/. Really cool stuff.
Frame Bags by Epic Designs
Handlebar Harness by Epic Designs
Seat Bags by Epic Designs
Brilliant! AMIRITE?
Pugsley with frame bag and "gas tank" bag.
You know what I like about bags over racks is? Racks are heavy. And bags aren’t. Also – I can make bags. I should buy a sewing machine and learn how to sew.
Blah. Anyhow. HAPPY DANCE. Can’t talk about it. Dammit. Okay I’m going. Everything I’m trying to write sounds trite. Hope everyones having a happy holiday. 2010 is at the end of the week.
Onward
Sweetbike.org – now for your mobile
Posted on December 22, 2009 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Administrative | Leave a Comment
So, I’ve been out for the last couple of days. Winter illin as it were. But between medication induced sleep while my body processes this crap, I found a handy module that formats my blog when viewed with mobile device. So far I’ve only tried it with my iPhone and seems to work well. I dunno, take a look at it w your other hand held devices and let me know. Kiiiiinda cool.
Onward
Beautiful Agony
Posted on December 18, 2009 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Bike Kwak | 4 Comments
From a very cool blog I stumbled upon – http://hellingham.blogspot.com
Largely cyclocross orientated it looks like. I dunno. I like the pic and like the blog. The caption under the photo says
Babcock rolls to victory with a fallen Cameron in his wake at the Cross Crusade finals. More great pics @ PDXCROSS. Read about it here and here.
Good stuff.
Onward.
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