Santacon / Santarchy 2009

From the Santarchy invitational:

Saturday, December 12 – Santa Comes to Town!
Route map: http://tinyurl.com/yhey3bj

Noon – 1:00 p.m. – Elysian Brewing Company
1:00 – 2:30 p.m. – Comet Tavern
2:45 – 4:00 p.m. – Cal-Anderson Park Santalympics
4:00 – 5:30 p.m. – Cafe Metropolitan
5:30 – 5:45 p.m. – Denny Way Overpass Banner hanging
5:45 – 6:00 p.m. – REI Renegade X-Mas Decorating and Naughty Carol Singing
6:30 – 8:30 p.m. – Hurricane Cafe Dinner and Drinks
8:30 – 9:00 p.m. – Pass through Belltown (Buddha Bar, Shortys, Whiskey Bar, etc)
9:00 p.m. – NITELITE Tradition!!
11:30 – till Santa falls down – Neighbors (no cover)
or Rebar (no cover)

Because of the anticipated size of this event, Santa encourages Santa to be kind to bar staff and if it takes too long to get a beer, go on to the next stop or find another bar along the way! This is a Santa Rampage! Take over the City!

Print yourself a copy of the Carol Book so you can join in with the naughty carol singing!! Found here:
http://santarchy.com/other/santacon-carol-book.pdf

Ho Ho Ho!!!

What is Santacon?
For those new Santas, what you need to know is this. Santa can’t do what Santa needs to do the night of Dec. 24th without some recon work. So Santa checks out who’s been naughty in cities all over the world in the month of December… and sometimes in July. So we suit up and go on a merry adventure drinking as much as we can and spreading jolly cheer. All you need is a pair of good walking shoes, a Santa outfit and the location of where and when to show up and you’re good to go!
Basically its about the funnest thing you could possibly do with your time so don’t even think about not showing up.

The 4 F*cks of Santacon:
1. Santa does not f*ck with kids
2. Santa does not f*ck with police
3. Santa does not f*ck with security
4. Santa does not f*ck with Santa

Other conventions of Santacon:
- Follow Santa
- No Santa Left Behind! Keep track of your Santa friends.
- Don’t wash the suit! Your Disgusting Santa suit is a badge of honor.
Wear it proudly.
- Bars can be crowded. Its best to carry a backup plan.
- Follow Santa

What are the answers to these stupid questions?

Q: Who are you?
A: SANTA!
A: ELVIS!

Q: Where are you from?
A: North of here a bit…
A: The North Pole!

Q: Why are you dressed like that?
A: Red and White is the new Black and Denim
A: To spread the good word of Santa & Socialism

Q: What are you doing here?
A: Mrs. Claus kicked me out.
A: You’re not my mother!
A: Looking for some hot elf action.
A: What are YOU doing here?
A: My sleigh broke down.
A: Trying to steal change from Unicef DING DING DING!

Santa’s Little Workshop:
Santacon is a great time for Santa to try out new toys, so whether you’ve got Naughty and Nice Stickers, Spray Snow, Naughty Cristmas Carols, Stuffed Animal flasks, GIANT candy canes, A Beer hat with candy cane striped straws, New Santa outfits… Santacon is the place to try all that stuff out. Santa loves creativity. If you don’t do any of that… don’t worry you can always drink.

WHERE IS SANTA GOING?
The route has been determined!
http://tinyurl.com/yhey3bj

Ok… I’m IN… where do I get a suit?
Last minute Santas have been known to find suits at Party City. Costume shops should carry them seasonally. Santa has heard rumors Santa suits can be found at Value Village. Yucky Santas can find them at Walmart so I’m told… and Santa can also GOOGLE for santa suit and find many other options. Santa especially likes the Mrs. Claus outfits at Trashy.com

THE DREADED DEATH-MARCH
This year, Santa wants to forewarn Santa that there will be a WEE-BIT of a death-march somewhere around 6 and 6:30 p.m. SANTA – PLEASE PLAN APPROPRIATELY. You know what that means.
You don’t know what this means?
Death-March means no booze stops for a period of time. Santa, being the lush he is, can figure out how to plan appropriately. Ho Ho HO!

—
SANTA WANTS TO HELP!

SANTALYMPICS!!!
Santa has some ideas for reindeer games in the park – But Santa needs props and Santa Leads to make these games happen!

- Tug o War – A rope, thick and long – You got one? Santa needs it!
- Three Legged Capture the Flag – Lots of Leg ties, flag and pole to attach flag
- Dizzy Santa Race – Bats for Santa to twirl his head around

Santa needs more ideas for the Santalympics!

DENNY WAY OVERPASS – BANNER HANGING
Santa will be marching over I-5 on Denny Way and would love to have a banner or a few hung on the overpass for all of Seattle to see! Santa, Elves, Reindeer! We need YOU!

RENEGADE X-MAS DECORATING!!!
We will be making a stop (to be disclosed with route map) to do renegade holiday decorating of trees and bushes! Bring some garland, ornaments, bells, etc. to help create a holiday wonderland!

HELPFUL SANTA SUMMARY:
- Santa needs help with Santalympics – be a Santa Lead, to suggest more games, and/or to bring props!
- Santa needs a Banner or a Few!
- Santa needs YOU!

SANTA HO!!!