Dead Baby 2009
Posted on August 12, 2009 -- Edit Post
Filed Under Bike Kwak, Dead Baby | Leave a Comment

With graciousness and humility, I’d like to start this with something my friend Dave wrote about this night on his blog, 327 Words. It’s perfect.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
An Eyeful
It’s a good thing that, unlike our stomachs, there’s no limit to the amount our eyes can consume because if we did have eye-bellies, mine would be, after last night, so distended by all I saw, that I’d have to take off my shoes to raise my eyebrows, or something like that.
It was a visual feast from 5:30 in the afternoon when Mimi and I first arrived at the Comet Tavern for the Dead Baby Downhill and Messenger Challenge sign-ups, all the way until I finally closed my peepers sometime long after midnight but thankfully slightly before the birds starting singing in the AM.
As usual, it was a vast clusterfuck of crazy cyclists and fucked-up bikes (or vice-versa), although this year, for the first time (at least the route we took, following many dozens in front of and behind us), there was a fair amount of uphilling on the Downhill, as we skirted the western ridge of Beacon Hill in order to get the final bomb down Lucille Street to Georgetown, and my eyes drank in the panorama of so many two-wheelers stretched out in both directions as far as anyone could see.
On Friday night Seattle’s own Dead Baby Bicycle Club put on their annual, Dead Baby Down Hill Race aka The Greatest Party Known To Human Kind. They didn’t disappoint. Riders met at the Comet Tavern, paid $20, and if you preregistered your number on their website before the race, they gave you a T-Shirt with your number emblazoned on the sleeve and a water bottle. What was my number?
.666
There’s no denying that the t-shirts this year were totally rad. But of the two – the water bottle is by far the more valuable item. I’ll get to that in a bit.
It’s hard to say how many people were at the Comet. It felt like a thousand but all I could say for sure was there were riders as far as the eye could see (and I’m waiting on official numbers from the registrars). There were piles of Seattle riders of course, but there was a strong showing from Portlands The Dropouts, and a few Zoobombers as well – pretty sure I saw Reverend Phil on the mic directing the tallbike jousting later that night.
Meetup started around 5pm, and around 7pm someone lit a quarter stick of dynamite and the race was on. The destination is kept secret until the very last moment to encourage people to ride and not just show up at the party. It’s partially successful. This year the party was to be behind the Jules Mae Saloon in Georgetown. Compared to last years race from El Cupachabara on Phinney Ridge down to Ballard’s The Bit Saloon, this was outright long and contained – as Professor Dave mentioned in his blog post – a fair amount of climbing if you weren’t careful. Most folks bolted for 12th ave, but at least half decided to climb Beacon Hill once they hit the bottom to get into Georgetown.
Myself and the other half jumped down through Chinatown and into a headwind, pedalled for the party along the flat that is Airport way. I can at least say there was no climbing for me.
I wasn’t *really* racing because I don’t really race. That said, I made a respectable showing. I think I was in the upper 30-40 riders or so.
As stated the party was behind the Jules Mae Saloon where they had erected a fence and put security in and the whole bit. And inside were bicycle powered carnival rides, the standard fare $2 burger/dog feed, and most importantly – the beer.
I told you I’d come back to this part.
If you had an official Dead Baby water bottle you were to be granted UNLIMITED ALL YOU CAN DRINK FREE BEER FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN DRINK IT. And I’m not talking crappy beer – which I happen to be a fan of. But GOOD FUCKING BEER – which I also happen to be a fan of. Fat Tire. 1554. A bunch of ambers and darks. Okay, there was some PBR in there, but it wasn’t in the majority. Not by far.
Most bike clubs pitch in at this point and take their turn pouring beer because let’s face facts, when you pour a couple thousand alcoholic bicyclists into a fenced in area with free beer, the line is long and non-stop all night long. We love the Dead Babys and their party. We in .83 were no exception and happy to help.
37 kegs of beer. 37 fucking kegs of beer. And at 12:30 Joby poured me the last beer of the night with a wink and stood up and proclaimed they were officially OUT OF BEER. We started at around 730-800pm. Do the math. And boy were we shitfaced.
I think Tiddlefitz said afterwards “I don’t have any specific memories – just really happy recollections”. I think this sums it up. I kept getting ambushed by dance parties. We got thrown out of the 9lb Hammer. Haulin Colin showed up with his monstrous bicycle-powered monster truck that ran over sidewalks and small animals alike with little or no problem. And his wasn’t the only one! There was tall bike jousting (I want to do this next year I think). There was dance routine done by the Bicycle Belles (I think) and probably by the Sprockettes. There was live music – something like 20 bands or somesuch. There were fireworks. There was dance party spilling into the street. Drivers were getting out of their cars and dancing with us. There were police telling us to go home.
Silly police.
There was the drunken wobbly ride home to crash laughing into bed as the birds started chirping. Man it was a good night.
Greatest Party Known To Human Kind? I’ll buy it.
Pic from Robin
While there’s piles of cool bikes and tons of great drinking, when it’s all said and done what makes this, and events like this, great are the people and the friends in which we share it. We ride bikes. But we party with each other.
Thanks for the party Dead Baby’s. See you next year!
Onward.
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Addendum: I’ve come to realize that even if you shoot a thousand pictures of an event, it’s very difficult to capture the moment. The more I do this, the more valuable I find pulling pictures from several sources to tell the whole story. I don’t say it enough, but big thanks to my friends and those who let me use their photographs for my silly blog.





















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