75 bicyclists with trailers and bags and booze + One park on Mercer Island + waffles = Wafflegedeon.

In the spirit of theft, I’m stealing everything to make this post.  Go me.

DERRICK:

1. im drunk
2. whiskey bar linsday suicide. girl met us, amangeed to post on the internet bbefore us. unacceptablbbler.
3. bacon.
3. eggs
4. waffle mix
5. we didnt get arrested on mercer island
6. fuck you ad your mckaniclals.
7. hitting on happy stick daveswife for shits n giggles.
8. cchina something karoke
9. wafffle mix EVERYWEHERE
10. henry kaoke telling htem to go fuck and die.
-11. us leaving karaoke joint in a hurry
12. hooverville
13. hooverville served us last call
14. hoovervillethrew us out
15. hooberville barback yelled at as for waffle mix EVeeyrwhere
16. china harbor
17. looked like we were going to get in fist fight at china place
18. karaoke joint that threw us out gave me back my helmet and jacket
19. ride to car
20. uh oh. problem
21. home
322. eat my ass. awesome

http://point83.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7898

Andre’s shots really captured the evening I thought.  I haven’t gotten permission to post these yet.

Hellow my name is Derrick, I will be your problem for the evening

GREG:

JENI:

Will link to flickr accounts and get permissions tomorrow.  I just wanted to get this put up finally.

Onward.

But it turns out, that wouldn’t be the best part of this story.  If I thought the disappointment for spending all day to get to a beer festival that didn’t have any beer was awesome, it really didn’t begin to compare to what happens next.  This is where you come in, Shitheel.

Because in the brief 50 minutes it took me to find the three cyclists who’d invited me to join them (I was going to give them a ride back to the Mukilteo ferry terminal since it’d become a rainy dark mess out there), and while I was being shot down at the gates of Awesometown and being detoured to No-beer-ville in Gofuckyourselfistan; It’s in this oh so brief period of time that you, Shitheel, took it upon yourself to STEAL MY MESSENGER BAG OUT OF THE BACK OF MY CAR.

I didn’t notice it’s loss until we got to the Ferry Terminal because I was busy strapping bikes and drunk bicyclists into le auto at the time.  (I ask Jess, can you hand me my camera out of my bag?  Jess says, what bag?)

Yes, there went my Chrome Messenger Bag ($175), my Outdoor Research GorTex Hardshell Jacket ($300), my three pairs of gloves ($175), two MiNewt Bicycle Lights ($250), arm warmers ($50), Miscellaneous Bicycle Tools, tire pumps, and locks ($200), my wool Tam hat that I’ve been wearing for 20 odd years now, my sketchbook with my frame bag patterns, my camera ($400~), and my f’ing checkbook.

These are good and necessary tools to doing what I do, and replacing them isn’t cheap, or convenient.  Or even possible in some cases.

I try not to put a lot of value on things – it’s just stuff after all.  I’m not kidding.  I’ll lament the inconvenience, or having to re-purchase, but I’m not sentimental about much and possessive/materialistic about almost nothing.  I’m pretty good about giving stuff away – putting into the karmic pool I like to think.  Well, turns out I was bummed about the hat.  I guess after 20 years you get attached to something like that.  Didn’t see that coming.  Crazy.  Anyhow, the rest?

Well I have renters insurance for $12/mo and apparently I’m told it covers things like this.  I wasn’t looking forward to haggling with the insurance company about what was actually taken (no jeez I didn’t have receipts for it all anymore) but I can’t be the first person in that same position.  Surely they wouldn’t deny my claim based on that?  Heck Lee said his bike got stolen/banged up or something and BOOM they gave him a new bike almost no questions asked.  He’s basically why I even got renters insurance.  Seemed like a good idea, and possibly the only way to protect my bikes.

I think to myself, well maybe this will work out and I’d get to replace my stuff with new stuff.  Not a horrible result given the options open to me.  I could live with that okay.

So I called the Port Townsend PD from the ferry terminal, filed a police report and got my case number.  I’d file a claim with insurance tomorrow if possible, cancel my checkbook on Monday – or whenever Chase Manhattan Bank decided to open up – and everything would be okay… ultimately.  Inconvenient, frustrating and dis-empowering to be sure, and boy was I angry, but I’d be all right.  Bruised ego but that’d be the worst of it.  I finally said to myself, just chill out, this is going to work out.  Blessing in disguise.  Just roll with it and let insurance handle the details.

If this story’d ended there, it would have sucked but would have been okay.  Yeah, no.  We’re not done apparently.  HERE’S WHERE IT STARTS GETTING GOOD.

The next day Port Townsend Police Department calls – they’ve recovered my bag!  Sweet I say to myself – I get my sketchpad and hat back, and I don’t have to replace my bag – which I really like actually.  Cop says everything seems to be in there that I reported, even the checkbook “which you’ll still want to cancel” he informs me.  Yup.  On it.  But the camera was gone.

I’m like, dang.  That’s a bummer, but I guess I’ll just file my claim for the camera.  Not as good, but good enough.

The camera was $400.  Turns out my renters insurance deductable is $500.

This, SHITHEEL, is where this story really gets awesome.  Because not only did I waste an entire Saturday going to a beer festival that didn’t have any beer so you could steal all my shit, and not only have I been completely fucked out being able to file an insurance claim to cover it, but I ALSO get to eat the cost of a replacement camera AND the cost of gas and ferry rides a second time JUST so I can go back and claim what remains of my stuff.

Is there a cherry to put on the cake?  WHY YES THERE IS THANKS FOR ASKING.  Yes, the cherry on the cake here is it turns out I ALSO get to take a half-day of fucking PTO to do it because the Port Townsend Police Department Evidence Room is only open from 9am to 6pm Monday thru Friday.  I must take time off work to drive up there and claim it in person I’m told (on the phone).  Can’t mail it.

SO!

Dear Shitheel,

You should have just fucking burnt my bag.  By leaving it you actually made it worse – you basically triple fucked me with this little added bonus.  While I’m glad to get my stupid hat and bag and stuff back in general, I actually had a small dim light at the end of this fuckall tunnel that was my completely wasted and blown Saturday with the insurance angle.  By recovering it, you even managed to fuck me out of that.

If I find you I’m going to break your fucking fingers off one by one and feed them to you, but I hope you like your new camera and the $30 you’ll inevitably sell it for on Craigslist.

Did I mention that one of my 2010 resolutions was to Try and Not Say the F Word for 2010?  Yeah?  Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

Die in a fire.

(Thanks to the Port Townsend Police Department though.  I do appreciate the follow through.  Lovely little town you have there.)

Click the pic for more images.

Andre found this cool gallery of some kids bike touring on the Upper Penninsula in 1979. Man, they look like us. Again, click the pic for the gallery.

And this is a pretty groovy blog. I dunno why but figured I’d throw it up here all the same.

http://undergroundvelo.blogspot.com/

Photo: Chris Roberts (permission pending)

Not be a downer, but this deserves posting.  It’s a few days old and I didn’t want it to compete against the xmas tree massacre post, but I wanted to get it up all the same.

Christopher Thomas Thompson, age 60, is a physician.  He is also the CEO of a rather successful medical records company called Medical Data Exchange.

Or I should say, he was.

On the morning of the 4th of July 2008, angry that a pair of cyclists bombing down a hill at 30mph were slowing him down, Dr. Thompson yelled obscenities at them for blocking the road, gunned his car and passed them on the left within inches, and then stood on his brakes.

They slammed into the back of his car going well over 30mph.

Stoehr hit the back of the car and vaulted into oncoming traffic lane. His injuries included a grade-three shoulder separation and road rash.

Peterson went through the rear window of the car; the impact broke his nose, nearly severing it from his face, and shattered several of his teeth. More than 90 stitches were required to reattach his nose.

As Peterson lay on the side of the road, Thompson called 911, told the operator of the accident and added that the riders would probably “tell you they are seriously injured, but they’re not.” Thompson also told the first police officer on the scene that he intentionally hit his brakes in order to “teach (the two riders) a lesson.”

Dr. Thompsons defence team argued that he was trying to stop to take a photograph of what he believed was illegal activity by the cyclists when they accidentally slammed into the back of his car. They also argued that the cyclists were belligerent – while bombing this hill at 30mph – and may have fallen due to the inherent instability of bicycles in general.

Well that’s funny because upon hearing about it, another cyclist named Patrick Watson went to the Prosecuting Council with a police report he filed against Dr. Thompson doing the very same thing just a couple months previously.

Patrick Watson and Josh Crosby say they were descending the road in March 2008 when a motorist sped ahead of them and hit his brakes. Watson bunny-hopped a curb and rode onto a lawn while Crosby dodged into oncoming traffic.

Watson says the motorist made a second attempt to hit them and then sped away. He (Watson, sic) used his cell phone to record the vehicle’s vanity plate, TCH MDX, an abbreviation of Thompson’s medical records company. That plate was also on the back of a burgundy Infiniti driven by Thompson in the July 4 assault. While Watson reported the March incident to authorities, prosecutors declined to pursue the case at the time.

On Friday the good Dr Thompson was sentenced.

“Superior Court Judge Scott T. Millington sentenced Thompson to two years on the charge of assaulting cyclists Ron Peterson and Christian Stoehr with a deadly weapon and added a three-year enhancement because Peterson suffered serious bodily harm.”

The state of California has also suspended Thompsons medical license and is up for possible permanent revocation.

Primum non nocere asshole.  5 years?  You got off light.

How fucking horrible.

I guess the thing to take away from this though is the proper way to deal with incidents like this.   Try to keep from getting hurt, get out of the way as fast as you can, and document your ass off.

The laws of man may be on your side but the laws of physics cannot be ignored – fair or unfair.  The laws of man are slow.  The laws of physics are immediate.  I don’t care how badass you are, or how in the right you are, or how outraged you are – you can’t take on a Honda with your bike.  It’s just not going to happen.  The only real thing you can do in situations like this is to get thyself out of harms way and try to record the plate to the best of your ability – AND THEN CALL IT IN.

Unfortunately the Seattle Police Department on the phone WILL make you feel like a crybaby shitheel for wasting their time with it – at least in Seattle***.  But they will record it.  It will be on record.

I’m not saying these guys could have ridden more defensively and avoided this situation.  Not a chance.  Maniac with a 200hp weapon on a narrow highway road with a grudge?  Forget about it.  I’m just saying, in general, for the rest of us riding in the day to day, you gotta take your survival into your own hands a little.  I’d rather avoid a bad situation then try and rely on the American legal system to punish someone for fucking me up, possibly permanently.

I know how helpless you can feel on a bike when suddenly Big Metal Objects start swinging in your direction, intentionally or accidentally.  In some of us it inspires the flight mechanism, in some of us the fight mechanism, in most of us quite a bit of both.  In those instances you really have to keep your head and go immediately into documentation mode, like at the same time you go into survival mode.  Because in this country, in our legal system, whomever has the most documentation wins.  Your camera phone is your friend.  A picture really is worth a thousand words in legaleese.

PS – HERE’S ANOTHER LINK TO THE ROAD RAGE DOCTOR

And let’s not forget the below.

Seven year old Kylie Bruehler was made an orphan when a pickup truck driver accidentally swerved and killed her bicycle riding parents.

The driver of the pickup that hit Kylie’s parents from behind then dragged them some 200 feet.  No booze, so no charges brought forward.

Or THIS SHITHEEL who killed two cyclists in Dallas after admitting to having more than 5 drinks in him, and having smoked a bunch of weed.  Two years they gave him.

If this is the same legal system you’re hoping to protect you with the threat of deterrence or punishment… well it seems like a poor place to put your bets if you ask me.

Please.  Ride safe out there kids.

Onward.

*** Truth is Seattle PD make you feel like a crybaby for calling in a car accident too, or practically anything not gun/gang related.  Hello, there’s been a pretty sizeable car accident and the dudes in one of the cars are completely drunk out of their minds.  Is anything on fire or is anyone hurt?  Do you really need us to come out there?  Really?  REALLY?

Or remember when I got hit by a school bus full of school kids?  TOOK SPD AN HOUR AND A HALF TO SEND A CRUISER.  I called 911 three times.  A State Patrol officer happened by and tried to get them to send a cruiser faster, nothing.  Yes Mr Policeman come and do your job, I pay my taxes.  Yes, seriously.  If you can wander around and give me a ticket for not wearing a helmet or parking in a red zone neighborhood when I only have a yellow zone parking sticker, you can come out and document my getting run over by a fucking school bus full of fucking kids.  Yeah.  It still makes me angry.

Between myself and a couple others, we prestocked 14 good sized trees at my house.  That’s out of some 40 trees that eventually showed up.  We prefunked at my place, strapped trees to trailers and trees to bikes and trees to bags and rode out to Westlake Center to meet everyone else.

Daryl's Gallery - pictured, Nick (aka Uncle Fester)

Video from Rory. This is how we got the trees out there.

At Westlake Center, we all circled up and redistributed trees as necessary.

Jeni rules so hard for this

BTMs XtraCycle + Burley Trailer

730pm rolled around, and was time to head out to Golden Gardens.

Words don’t cover this.  And really, it takes everyone to tell the story properly.  So these are the pictures – from everyone.  What an incredible mess.  Click the picture for the flickr/smugmug/gallery link.  Thanks everyone.  Amazing night.

Alex's Gallery

Alex's Gallery

Alex''s Gallery - pictued BTM

Daryl's Gallery

Paul's Gallery - pictured Joby

Paul's Gallery - pictured Meg Ha!

Paul's Gallery - pictured Ally

Andre's Gallery - pictured, Joby

Andre's Gallery

Andre's Gallery - pictued, Chase

Denny's Gallery - pictured, crunkypants Joby

Daryl's Gallery - pictured, Chase, Christine, Laura

Denny's Gallery - pictured, Chase and I think Sean Sweeney

Denny's Gallery - pictured, Bott

Denny's Gallery - pictured, Caroline

Denny's Gallery

Mordac's Gallery - 2010 .83 Xmas Tree Massacre

Mordac's Gallery - pictured, Joby and Keylime

After this mess, we stumbled over to the Sloop and had our 2010 Calendar Release Party.  Miles, you rule.  This was fun.  Everyones picture was great.  The calendar looks excellent.  There aren’t any more for sale I’m told, which is really too bad.  But given the financial requirements, don’t blame him.  He footed the whole bill and just pushed to break even.  Awesome job Miles.  Thanks to Henry Rose and Sean Sweeney for shooting the pictures.

Andre's Gallery - pictured Chase

Andre's Gallery - Pictured Miles

After all that, fires, booze, and sharpies… the calendar signing sorta got out of hand…

Kyleen and Sean Sweeney

Another victim of the Sharpie Armageddon. Pictured - The Beard

Oh, and my picture?  This is me, Mr November.

Photo by Sean Sweeney

It’s going to be a good year.

Onward.

http://point83.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7849
http://point83.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7834

So, yes.  Tomorrow are TWO events that are so awesome they can barely be in the same room together.  FIRST OFF – it is the annual .83 Xmas Tree Massacre! At 7pm we will meet at Westlake Center and at 730 we will ride/carry/haul all the Xmas trees we can find/carry to Golden Gardens and have a completely f-ing epic bonfire on the beach and send them to their maker.

CHECK OUT MY BLOG POST FROM LAST YEAR ABOUT IT

After the massacre, we will roll – drunkenly – to the Sloop where we will have the 2010 .83 Bicycle Boys Calendar Release Party around 10~10:30! So help me god, I’m in it.  I think I’m Mr November.  I dunno.  It’s going to be great.  And by great I mean terrible.  And by terrible I mean great. Come on out. Even if you don’t have a tree to burn.  It’s going to be a dry night tomorrow night (c’mon positive thinking).  Help see 2010 and a whole new decade in with your favorite drunken bike morons over fire, booze, bikes, and… and…  I forgot where I was going with that.

All (over 21+) are invited and encouraged to come.

Tonight: More tree hunting.

Tomorrow: FIRE!

Onward.

Seriously, this guy rules.  When in doubt, make a mess and work it out later. Of course, I’m a fall-on-your-sword kinda guy so this sort of trainwreck approach is right up my alley.

Onward!

2009 "Gifford" - by Alex Wetmore

Finished fork

Eccentric bottom bracket

2009 "Gifford" - by Alex Wetmore

It’s a 650b touring bike with racks and fenders and a 14 speed Rohloff internally geared hub.  And it might be the nicest bike I’ve ever ridden.  Dynamo front hub, 3 water bottle cages on the triangle, will take 2″ knobbies without fenders, eccentric bottom bracket…  Go read his blog. He talks about the bike and a few blog entries back and you can see the process he took to get here.

Meant to write this two weeks ago when he rode it to the .83 Greenlake Race of Champions.  Nicely done Alex.

Onward.

Freight Baggage.  These guys do some cool sewing projects.  Rack bags, backpacks, and lots of other things.  That last picture is of a “road soda”.  I bought several of these and gave them away as Xmas presents this year.  I personally have two of them and think they’re great.

Also looking at the stuff at http://www.epicdesignsalaska.com/.  Really cool stuff.

Frame Bags by Epic Designs

Handlebar Harness by Epic Designs

Seat Bags by Epic Designs

Brilliant! AMIRITE?

Pugsley with frame bag and "gas tank" bag.

You know what I like about bags over racks is?  Racks are heavy.  And bags aren’t.  Also – I can make bags.  I should buy a sewing machine and learn how to sew.

Blah.  Anyhow.  HAPPY DANCE.  Can’t talk about it.  Dammit. Okay I’m going.  Everything I’m trying to write sounds trite.  Hope everyones having a happy holiday.  2010 is at the end of the week.

Onward

Onward

Largely cyclocross orientated it looks like.  I dunno.  I like the pic and like the blog.  The caption under the photo says

Babcock rolls to victory with a fallen Cameron in his wake at the Cross Crusade finals. More great pics @ PDXCROSS. Read about it here and here.

Good stuff.

Onward.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330386088555&_trksid=p2759.l125\

2009 Bend Oregon Cyclocross Nationals Equipment:

I can hardly believe all of this stuff fit in my car.  Don’t hate the player…. hate the game.  I am looking for a good home for all of my cyclocross gear.  You will need a large garage or basement to house my collection.  With the 2010 cyclocross season 9 months away just think of all the time you will save if you buy all of my stuff.

My loss is your gain.  I am selling everything I own that involves cyclocross.  I had the car packed and was headed to Bend for cyclocross nationals.  The weather report and course conditions sounded brutal.  I searched deep into my soul, and I have become too soft to finish my 2009 CX season.  This sport has broken my heart and crushed my dreams for possibly the last time.  Everything must go.  Everything is included.  If you win this auction you will have everything you will ever need to race cyclocross, and look like a complete pro.  I have decided that I enjoy buying cyclocross stuff more than racing it.  So do me a favor and buy it all.  Unfortunately for me I will probably buy most of it back piece by piece on Ebay later this summer when my mental stability and optimism return.   My motivation is high…. my spirits are low.  Everthing listed below is real and is yours if you BID.

The first 2 items you get are priceless.  I am selling a front row call-up to the master’s 30-34 race.  Last time I checked….. I think I have the #1 call-up and it is yours.  Yes, you will be #1 for at least a few seconds.  Front damn row!  I do not have the skills to ride ice or snow so to be honest I have no business toeing the line.  It is all yours.  I have spent thousands of dollars chasing top 10 results at nationals, and now you can line up front row for a fraction of what I have invested.   I probably have more money invested in that front row spot…. than the price of this entire auction.  Gallons of sweat and thousands of miles ridden at threshold were the price for that front row.  It is all yours. You won’t have any excuse.  If you don’t win you will have to look in the mirror and say you suck.  I can’t deal with that right now.  You can have my demons.  Just think…….You won’t have to show up early to the start.  Actually, I would show up late just to walk through the 100+ racers who have to start behind you.  Be sure to enjoy that moment. It will be the only fun you will have during the next 60 minutes.  You will also get a UCI call-up for the ELITE race on Sunday.  It won’t be anywhere near the front row, I sort of suck…….. but you can pretend with the other semi-elite, self sponsored, wanna-be, never was, not really elite racers that you stand a chance of not getting lapped by Page and Trebon.  I will drive to BEND and pick up my numbers and pin them to your 2 NEW skin suits.  Yes, you get 2 long sleeve skin-suits.  These are super snug and show off your junk quite well.  Each come with matching gloves, helmets, shoes, socks, and undergarments to keep you warm.  You will look bad-ass I promise.  One even has fake abdominals, so you can stop doing your core. Fire your coach now.  You have made it to the big time.  I also have 2 cans of instant tanning spray.  You need a good tan if you want to look super ripped and fast.

Did I mention you get 3 bikes.  Yes, I was so obsessed that I bought 3 cross bikes.  All 3 are S-Works with full Dura-Ace, XTR, Paul’s brakes, tubular tires, etc.  All 3 will get you a profile on PLUS ONE LAP for being sub 17 pounds.  You will be the envy of weight weenies everywhere.  You can Pre-ride on 1 bike and keep the other 2 clean as new.  Did I mention you get wheels.  Tons of wheels.  I have no idea how many sets I have.  I have every Tubular tire made.  Dugast, Grifo, File tread, Fango, ETC…. The list goes on…….  I have been searching for the best tire set-up for years so I just bought them all.  I am including my hand-held electric inflator.  If you don’t have one of these you will be blown away.  Why pump when you can just pull the trigger?  People will stop in the parking lot just to admire your bad ass pump.  Now remember you get 5-6 sets of tubulars glued up by a complete Belgian ninja glue master.  THEY will not roll. 3 sets of clinchers and 20 clincher tires.  I have the old vintage GREEN Michelin’s, I have studded (you will want to try these), fat 29r’s, and every other tire you can imagine.  I have searched the globe for a tire that can allow me to corner. Obviously I have not found the correct tire or I would be coming to Bend.  The 3^rd bike has a Power-tap and SRM on it.  You need both to be sure your power numbers are accurate. I have some training plans I will include, but none will prepare you ride ice and snow.  Training is futile for racing on ice.  You either have the skills or you don’t.     You will also get my trainer so you can get a good warm-up.  I have covered the drum on it with gravel so it feels like a cross course.  My IPOD is included. With a set of Warm-up songs that will make you feel like ROCKY.  No joke…you will feel the beat and won’t be able to imagine defeat.   I even have some motivational tracks from Tony Robbin’s.  “you are a champion!” Say it with me….Believe it. DO it. Dream big or go home.

Remember when you bid that is cross stuff. If you are scared of dents, scuffs, dirt, then don’t bid.  I rarely wash anything.  Most of my Kits and Skin-Suits are clean…but not sterile.  My bikes are solid but have been ridden hard.   I have 9 PowerGels, a partially full tube of shammy cream, 3 dirty cycling bottles. I have several worn copies of CX magazine that you can give to your friends as dangerous propaganda that this sport is beautiful and fun…….6 kits for all of your pre-riding.  They all match and a few are retro.  So if you choose to warm up before the single speed race you will you blend in.  All kits have matching gloves, socks, hats, and vests.   99% of cycling is looking cool, and you are going to look like a damn rock star.  I am including what is left of my ENDUROX CHOCOLATE recovery drink.  About 1/3 of the can is left.  This stuff will make you fart like mad, but if you mix it with some milk and coffee it tastes like Starbucks.  I have 2 pairs of shoes and 12 pairs of wool socks.  Some are short socks and some are super long.  You decide what makes you look the coolest.  One pair of yellow shoes just so you can look like TJ and POWERS of Cyclocross World.  Yellow is the new Black.  They were actually black, but I bought some spray paint and gave them a quick paint to make them waterproof.  I am throwing in my UCI license that has 8 coveted UCI points on it.  Why earn the points when you can buy them.  Do you know how many hours you need to train or miles you have to travel to scrape together 8 points.  I promise this is the easy way out.  I have a cool Wool jersey you can wear after the race so you blend in perfectly with the screaming crowd.  You don’t have to scream too loud because I am including my cow-bell also.  Not only do I want you to look like a bad ass racer, I want you also to be equipped to be the SUPER FAN. I can hardly ring the bell now without tears. I will have to wear ear-plugs just to pack this.  I am passing the torch.  Cross is dead to me.  Tons of extras will be thrown in.  I will include several *user names and passwords to chat rooms that discuss cyclo-cross.  You will blend in like a pro.  I have many posts that make me sound fast. It will be easier to draft behind my super cycling intellect than to create your own.

The last items I am including are a National Champion Skin-suit and a bottle of Champagne. I stole the national champion skin-suit from my wife.  Sometimes when no one is home I drink a few beers, lower the lights, and gently slip on her skin-suit and stare in the mirror for hours just to feel special.   Just pull on the skin-suit and walk around the cyclocross venue in BEND drinking large gulps of cheap Champagne.  I promise by the time you finish the entire bottle you will feel like a winner and probably convince yourself to come back next year and race again.  Most of the spectators will congratulate you like you’re Katie Compton or Ryan Trebon.

Good luck and Happy Bidding.

Here is another link to another photo.  Good LUCK

http://cowbell.cxmagazine.com/photo/photo/show?id=1198434%3APhoto%3A47587

If you wife doesn’t want you to spend 17k… just sing her this song… it may help.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Twelve pairs of wool socks

Eleven servings of endurox

Ten tubulars glued Belgian style

Nine power gels with caffeine

Eight uci points

Seven semi-broken in shammys

Six sets of Pauls cantilevers

Five pairs full finger gloves

Four grifo 34’s

Three s-works cross bikes

Two pairs of shoes

And everthing you will ever need to complete your cyclocross dream

DISCLAIMER… if I have to ship 12 packages… i am going to kill you with EBAY shipping fees.  I will be rich$$$.. Please buy now!

Good luck dude.
Onward.

FULL GALLERY HERE

Photo of Jon by Rogelio

Every year, in cities around the world, Santarchy happens.  In Seattle, this means 600+ Santas get together at the Elysian Brewery around noon, and begin what inevitably becomes one of the best (and arguably embarassing) bar crawls in Seattle.

This year was no exception.

I, like 600+ others broke out our santa outfits and proceeded to make a mess.  This year though, I had a sleigh and brought my trusty steed Donner with me.  We were well received.  =)

This picture and all other pictures watermarked as 2009 Espressobuzz has been reposted with permissions from the man himself. Thanks Hank.

This image - and all other images watermarked as Copyright 2009 Todd Gardiner have been shamefully salvaged from my browser cache and hosted on my servers so as not to steal bandwidth. I have asked permission to use these but haven't heard back yet. These wonderful pictures were taken by Todd. Thank you in advance Todd.

Chase riding "Donner" on frozen Cal Anderson pond.

There were a lot of santas.  Chase (above).

aaaand of course our obligatory sexy/slutty santas

Santas at Cal Anderson for the second annual Santalympics - which included such activites as elf tossing.

"I am TIRED of being considered a second rate holiday!" Cried Easter Bunny Santa. When asked he said "Yeah... it's just a temp gig to get me through April - hey do you want to buy some weed?" Good luck Easter Bunny Santa. I guess the economy has hit us all pretty hard.

Raiding Dicks

Reindeer Cam

Ninja Santa

Asshole Santa - wadda prick

Like my Santa-Head beer coozy?

Photo by Langston. Thanks Langston. I was having a terrible time. Kid, meet candy store!

Onward.

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?168605-Dual-purpose-Surly-Pugsley

Stolen without permission from bikeforums.net Sorry guys. This is the Pugsley with 29er Big Apples.

Stolen without permission from bikeforums.net Sorry guys. This is the Pugsley with 4" wide endomorphs.

/le sigh

Onward.

So the Pacer’s gone through a lot of incarnations, but I’m super happy with the last, having replaced the 48cm Nitto Noodle Bars which were giving me tendonitis with a set of Richie bars, shellac’ing white cork tape, putting a top tube pad on (already dented the top tube) and slapping a pair of 700c x 28 Vittoria Randonneurs on there for the winter. Thing is smooth smooth smooth to ride – ask anyone.

Check out the below for it’s other incarnations.

Onward.

Turns out, Molly isn’t doing a bike-girl calendar this year, so Miles decided to do a bike-boy calendar sorta at the last minute.  It’s not really to raise money – more of a, this seems like it’d be a hoot.  So we all went to Henry’s on Saturday and between Henry and Sean Sweeney, we spent the day trying to do all the shots in one day.  We got close, but there are a couple more that need taking.  The event itself was hilarious.  12 boys running around in Henry’s loft in their underwear, with bikes.  I’m not saying it was gay or anything…

Photo by Sean Sweeney

Calendars are being sold for $10 if you pre-order.  Go click on the above thingy and pay your dues.  Here are a few more out-takes of the shoot.  ZOMG what a mess.

Photo by Eric Bott - aka "The Beard"

Photo by Henry Rose

Photo by Henry Rose

Photo by Eric Bott - aka "The Beard"

Photo by Eric Bott - aka "The Beard"

Photo by Eric Bott - aka "The Beard"

Photo by Eric Bott - aka "The Beard"

Photo by Eric Bott - aka "The Beard"

Photo by Eric Bott - aka "The Beard"

GO PRE-ORDER YOUR CALENDAR NOW

Onward

ZOMG
ZOMG
ZOMG

Brrrr!

Oh, and who’s this?  This is Chase.  He’s a heck of a guy.  And I thought this post needed one more stud.

Nokian Gazza Extreme 294 - 29er x 2.1 inch - jesus rolling these things on my Karate Monkey is like laying down tank track.

Last winter I had the Long Haul Trucker with 26 inch wheels.  When it snowed, we all ordered studded tires – and then UPS got stuck in the ice and snow.  Once it melted, we got our tires.  Of course by then, we didn’t need them.  Well, I sold the Long Haul Trucker and now I have the Karate Monkey with it’s FAR larger 29er wheels.  The thing is, there’s only one company making studded 29er tires – Nokian.  I have no idea why only one company is making one brand of studded 29er tire, seems silly to me but this is the reality.  So I splurged and got them before the snow and ice hit this year.  Crazy, I know!  This of course guarantees we won’t see snow and ice for another 7 years in Seattle.  Whatever, it’s a price I’m willing to pay.

Nokian recommends you put about 30~ miles on pavement to fully seat the studs before using full time.  So on tonights .83 ride, it’s on.  I’m sure these things are heavenly in snow and ice – but on pavement, these things are going to kick my ass.  I forsee a slow painful ride tonight.

Onward!

Update: Okay, you know what, it wasn’t that bad.  Kept up with the ride just fine, many times leading it.  Loud as hell and pretty heavy, thing is once you get them rotating, watch out!  First 200 meters or so my tires would throw little sparks – kinda cool – carbide studs are gnarly.  Sean borrowed my bike at Westlake Center and ate it on the bricks eventually in a spectacular wash of sparks, reinforcing the cautionary tales I’d already heard about riding them on hard surface – gotta be careful cornering.  But I was fine.  I’m a fan of learning from other peoples mistakes, lol.  I rode it again last night on the monthly Dead Baby ride all the way to Georgetown.  It’s a fun bike.  I’ll post pictures in my next post.

Christoper Felix Hahn, a student at the theater science in Gießen located in Germany was just banned from cycling for 15 years, which also includes riding a skateboard or any other unlicensed vehicle. So you might wonder what this young man did to have such a harsh punishment, well he was caught riding his bike drunk. It is a crime in the United States and throughout the world to ride a bike drunk, but being banned from riding a bike for 15 years is extreme. After leaving a party early in the mourning in June 2008, he was confronted by local police who administered a breathalyzer, and he was three times the legal limit (Hahn’s blood alcohol level was 0.171%, the legal limit in Germany is 0.05%). He then paid a $700 fine, and had to wait for his record to clear before receiving a drivers license, but he thought the ordeal was over.

Christopher received a letter that he must submit a medical and psychological examination, but since he knew he could not receive a drivers license the letter was ignored, plus the steep €500 was a bit out of reach for a student. Due to no action on the letter he received, he was then forbid from using any license free vehicle on the streets, which includes any type of bike. The has to be served for a mandatory of 15 years before lifted. Pretty harsh, it goes to show how strict other parts of the world are.

http://bikereviews.com/2009/11/student-biking-drunk-banned-cycling-15-years/#comments

Faaaaaaaaak.  Truth is I’m looking for independent confirmation of this story, since it sites no reference at all.  Stay tuned.

Edit: These guys have the same story almost word for word, but also the same lack of reference links.  So much for jounalistic integrity, eh guys?

Onward

we rides teh bieks to Kuboda Gardens - picture from Greg

Photo by Andre Ball

http://www.ecovelo.info/2009/11/24/andre-balls-endless-summer-entry/

This is us (.83) on our way to our annual camping trip, Ben Country 4.0, riding the dykes along Whidbey Island.  Andre took the pic and has entered it into the Endless Summer photo contest on the ecovelo blog.  Good luck Andre.

http://artoftheprank.com/2009/07/17/diy-bike-lanes/

Onward.

Northwest Film Forum’s 4th annual Seattle Bike-In is happening this Sunday, August 23rd in Cal Anderson Park on Capitol Hill. The event aims to bring together biking, transportation, art, environmental, and community advocates for a celebration of biking and environmental sustainability. This community blowout features live bands at 7 pm and the French Jacque Tati film Jour de Fete at dusk.

The day before the Bike-In, on Saturday (Aug 22) is the long awaited

Seattle Bicycle Music Festival ride.  Taken from the link:

This Saturday, August 22, the BMF crew rolls into Seattle! Led by the Ginger Ninjas and the Pleasant Revolution Tour, BMFers will show Seattle how to pedal their way to musical bliss!

Tour Route & Lineup for Seattle:

9am Early Ride: Live On Bike Music ride to Waterfront Park starting at Delridge Playfield

10am Waterfront Park : Holly Phillips – Julia Massey – James Kennedy – Stitchcraft – Susan Harper – Bahia

2pm Afternoon cruise with Live On Bike music

3pm Denny Park : Blue 55 – Bend – Nettle Honey – Aeolian

6pm Ride to Space Needle

7-8:30pm Seattle Center Movies at the Mural : The Ginger Ninja – Cello Joe – Bear Dyken

9pm Evening ride to evening concert

9:30pm Evening concert Secret Location: Goose Vargis – The Pressure

And lastly, Sept 11 is the Seattle Bicycle Film Festival

which is FINALLY showing the documentary Where Are You Go Now which I’ve been waiting to see for months now.  Shoulda gone last month in Portland.  Dammit.

With graciousness and humility, I’d like to start this with something my friend Dave wrote about this night on his blog, 327 Words.  It’s perfect.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

An Eyeful

It’s a good thing that, unlike our stomachs, there’s no limit to the amount our eyes can consume because if we did have eye-bellies, mine would be, after last night, so distended by all I saw, that I’d have to take off my shoes to raise my eyebrows, or something like that.

It was a visual feast from 5:30 in the afternoon when Mimi and I first arrived at the Comet Tavern for the Dead Baby Downhill and Messenger Challenge sign-ups, all the way until I finally closed my peepers sometime long after midnight but thankfully slightly before the birds starting singing in the AM.

As usual, it was a vast clusterfuck of crazy cyclists and fucked-up bikes (or vice-versa), although this year, for the first time (at least the route we took, following many dozens in front of and behind us), there was a fair amount of uphilling on the Downhill, as we skirted the western ridge of Beacon Hill in order to get the final bomb down Lucille Street to Georgetown, and my eyes drank in the panorama of so many two-wheelers stretched out in both directions as far as anyone could see.

On Friday night Seattle’s own Dead Baby Bicycle Club put on their annual, Dead Baby Down Hill Race aka The Greatest Party Known To Human Kind. They didn’t disappoint. Riders met at the Comet Tavern, paid $20, and if you preregistered your number on their website before the race, they gave you a T-Shirt with your number emblazoned on the sleeve and a water bottle.  What was my number?

.666

There’s no denying that the t-shirts this year were totally rad.  But of the two – the water bottle is by far the more valuable item. I’ll get to that in a bit.

Pic from greg hxc

Pic from Jason

Pic from Jason

It’s hard to say how many people were at the Comet.  It felt like a thousand but all I could say for sure was there were riders as far as the eye could see (and I’m waiting on official numbers from the registrars).  There were piles of Seattle riders of course, but there was a strong showing from Portlands The Dropouts, and a few Zoobombers as well – pretty sure I saw Reverend Phil on the mic directing the tallbike jousting later that night.

Dudes Stereo Bike was friggin LOUD. And boy it sounded good.

Meetup started around 5pm, and around 7pm someone lit a quarter stick of dynamite and the race was on.  The destination is kept secret until the very last moment to encourage people to ride and not just show up at the party.  It’s partially successful.  This year the party was to be behind the Jules Mae Saloon in Georgetown.  Compared to last years race from El Cupachabara on Phinney Ridge down to Ballard’s The Bit Saloon, this was outright long and contained – as Professor Dave mentioned in his blog post – a fair amount of climbing if you weren’t careful.  Most folks bolted for 12th ave, but at least half decided to climb Beacon Hill once they hit the bottom to get into Georgetown.

Myself and the other half jumped down through Chinatown and into a headwind, pedalled for the party along the flat that is Airport way.  I can at least say there was no climbing for me.

I wasn’t *really* racing because I don’t really race.  That said, I made a respectable showing.  I think I was in the upper 30-40 riders or so.

As stated the party was behind the Jules Mae Saloon where they had erected a fence and put security in and the whole bit.  And inside were bicycle powered carnival rides, the standard fare $2 burger/dog feed, and most importantly – the beer.

I told you I’d come back to this part.

If you had an official Dead Baby water bottle you were to be granted UNLIMITED ALL YOU CAN DRINK FREE BEER FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN DRINK IT. And I’m not talking crappy beer – which I happen to be a fan of. But GOOD FUCKING BEER – which I also happen to be a fan of. Fat Tire. 1554. A bunch of ambers and darks. Okay, there was some PBR in there, but it wasn’t in the majority. Not by far.

Pic from Jason

Pic from Jason

Pic from Deven - pedal powered centrifuge ride!

$3 burgers, $2 hotdogs - grilled onions and mushrooms included

Pic from Robin - I like the airplane!

Pic from Robin

Most bike clubs pitch in at this point and take their turn pouring beer because let’s face facts, when you pour a couple thousand alcoholic bicyclists into a fenced in area with free beer, the line is long and non-stop all night long.  We love the Dead Babys and their party.  We in .83 were no exception and happy to help.

Not .83 - didn't manage to get any pics of us pouring. Plz notice New Belgium Brewery!

37 kegs of beer.  37 fucking kegs of beer.  And at 12:30 Joby poured me the last beer of the night with a wink and stood up and proclaimed they were officially OUT OF BEER.  We started at around 730-800pm.  Do the math.  And boy were we shitfaced.

I think Tiddlefitz said afterwards “I don’t have any specific memories – just really happy recollections”.  I think this sums it up.  I kept getting ambushed by dance parties.  We got thrown out of the 9lb Hammer.  Haulin Colin showed up with his monstrous bicycle-powered monster truck that ran over sidewalks and small animals alike with little or no problem.  And his wasn’t the only one!  There was tall bike jousting (I want to do this next year I think).  There was dance routine done by the Bicycle Belles (I think) and probably by the Sprockettes.  There was live music – something like 20 bands or somesuch.   There were fireworks.  There was dance party spilling into the street.  Drivers were getting out of their cars and dancing with us.  There were police telling us to go home.

Silly police.

There was the drunken wobbly ride home to crash laughing into bed as the birds started chirping.  Man it was a good night.

Greatest Party Known To Human Kind? I’ll buy it.

Pic from Robin

Pic from Robin

Pic from Robin

Pic from greg hxc

Pic from greg hxc - Ro and Monica

Pic from Jason

Pic from Jason

Pic from Jason

Pic from Jason

Pic from Jason

Pic from Jason

Pic from Jason - Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care say WOOP WOOP!!!

While there’s piles of cool bikes and tons of great drinking, when it’s all said and done what makes this, and events like this, great are the people and the friends in which we share it.  We ride bikes.  But we party with each other.

Thanks for the party Dead Baby’s.  See you next year!

Onward.

—————————————

—————————————

Addendum: I’ve come to realize that even if you shoot a thousand pictures of an event, it’s very difficult to capture the moment.  The more I do this, the more valuable I find pulling pictures from several sources to tell the whole story.  I don’t say it enough, but big thanks to my friends and those who let me use their photographs for my silly blog.

JASON’S PICS

JENI’S PICS

ROBIN’S PICS

GREG’S PICS

DEVEN’S PICS

MY CRAPPY PICS

Too many bars and too many miles to go into specifics.  A couple recent highlights.

I lent my Pacer to Jeff for a couple days, and then he left for RAGBRAI.  My Pacer remains in his house.  Oops.  Not a big deal actually.  I’ve been using the excuse to ride the LeMond aka “30 Rock” because really, I never ride it.  Weather’s been so nice… boy it’s been a good time.  This is a really great bike and I’ve been happy to have the excuse.

Anyhow, other things…

Photo from Alex

Photo from Rob

Last Thursday about 60 of us had a no-reason costume ride that morphed into a running of the bulls ride.

I’m the one in the dress.  Derrick Ito – aka Ronald McFondle.

Photo from Rob

Photo from Rob

Photo by Andre

I mean seriously, we were a mess.

Photo from Alex

From here, down to Cowgirls Inc to ride the mechanical bull at that douchewad bar, then over to Goldies for some serious Karaoke action.  Yeah, I rode the bull.  And I sang me some karaoke.  In a dress.  I’m embarassing.

Photo by Andre - L to R - Jeff, me, Derrick

Travesty I tell you.

Friday was Henry’s birthday shindig.  Saturday was lounging on Madrona Beach and then Cass’s birthday party at The Nickerson, Sunday was riding with Slow Sunday out to ABR and then an impromptu BBQ at Lincoln Park, then a ride over to the Chop Suey where some vodka company called 42 Below was hosting more Gerbil Wheel sprints with the Emerald City boys.

For the life of me I do not understand the appeal of indoor sprints when the weather is so incredible outside this time of year.  On the 4th of July they put on REAL bike sprints outside on the Bridge to Nowhere at the Arboretum and it was totally fucking great.  Real bikes, real distance, real sprints.  Save this roller stuff for shitty weather and unridable conditions I say.  Bah HUMBUG.

Still it was a good time, Ryan and the boys from Emerald City did a fine job putting this together – my hat’s off to em.  Even I got conned into sprinting.  Someone said oh it’s just for fun.  I’m like, waiddaminnite losing’s not fun.  But they were short a guy and after much pressuring I finally mounted up.

You know, walking up to the bikes I had this small fantasy in my head that I was going to get on and due to some genetic autistic like abnormality completely out of my control, I was going to get on this bike and we would discover that I had this unbelievable GIFT.  Like I was going to be the fat retarded kid that could for whatever reason play poker better than anyone on earth.  I would be the Rainman of sprinting it would be revealed.  I would be the fastest dude ever.  I would get off the bike sweaty and panting, smile and say something like, “Wow what happened?” and everyone would cheer and pat me on the back.  Cyclists and bar hoochies would come up smiling to congratulate me with this newfound respect in their eyes like holy shit, you’re really fast!  Some cute bike girl would come up and plant one on me.  It would be great.

I lost by 6 seconds.  It’s a 500 meter dash.  Fuck.  He could have stopped, had a cigarette, and still beaten me.  My Rainman sprinting dream was dead in it’s retarded little shoes.  In front of everyone it was revealed I possess no special powers or abilities.  And nobody was surprised.  It made me a little sad.

But again, even after my mighty fall from grace I found myself smiling more often than not.  And my consolation for the night was that my adversary is a fellow .83er – Patrick – and he took first place.  So if I’m going to get beat, might as well get beat by the fucking champ.

Last details, my camera died two weeks ago.  I’m still debating what kind of camera to get next.  Until then, you get these verbose posts and a series of thieved photographs from everyone else.  If you have camera recommendations, I’m up for em.  Will probably just ask what Alex uses though and get one of those.

There are a pile of details I’m glossing over with all this post of course.  Personal stuff, geeky stuff, riding stuff, stupid stuff.  The stuff our summers are made of – this travesty of a life in Seattle.  Boy, it’s pretty rough.

Summers in Seattle.  Hell yes.  Ride your bike.

Onward.

PS – stumbled across this on the BBC today:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8158729.stm

Somalia deports Chinese cyclist

Lee Yue Zhong said he was disappointed not reach Mogadishu

A Chinese cyclist has been forced to put the brakes on a 12-year world tour, after officials in Somalia deported him for not having the right documents.

Man, when you get deported from Somalia – a country without a government – wow.  I mean seriously – you got deported by a country famous for having a serious and uncontrollable problem with FUCKING PIRATES. PIRATES. I guess Somalia’s on top of this wandering cyclist immigration problem though.

If I had to guess I’d say they were probably doing this for his own good, but still.  At least they just sent him to the adjacent country and not back to China.

On a personal note I’d like to argue that getting thrown out of a country probably beats riding through it – at least in terms of story telling around the campfire. Like driving a Ferrari. What’s a better story, driving one, or totalling one? I rest my case. But for a guy on a 12 year bicycle tour, well. I he probably has a pile of stories and getting thrown out of a country is probably kids stuff to him by now.

Best of luck mate.

• Fast bike – LeMond
• Fast bike / All day bike – Pacer
• All day bike / Touring Bike / Mountain Bike – Karate Monkey

I am not kidding about the versatility of that Karate Monkey.  Boy.  It’s something else.

What would I build if I could justify it?  Why, I’m glad you asked! (see what I did there?  yeah.  I rule.)

I want two of them actually.  And both from Vassago –

The Vassago Fisticuff.  Their “Cross” bike.  aaaaand

The Vassago Bandersnatch – their 29er.

Now, as far as I can tell, there isn’t anywhere I could bring a cross bike (Fisticuff) that I wouldn’t be better served by bringing my 29er, and I already have one of those.

This is the argument that kills all my dreams for either of these bikes.  Dammit.  And it’s only one sentence.

I guess I could outfit my KM for touring duties – put midge bars, fenders, and Big Apples on her, pick up a Yakima trailer… then pick up a Bandersnatch and outfit it for expeditionary duties like I’m doing with my KM…!

Yeah boy, I’m reaching.  I know it.

/le sigh

Here’s an image gallery of bikes from Vassago.

Onward

Apparently Berlin has outlawed fixies – or that’s the language.  They’ve confiscated a bunch of bikes until riders afix brakes to them.  So really, it’s not banning fixies which would irritate me to no end.  It’s banning bikes without brakes, which makes 20 kinds of sense to me.  Yeah yeah yeah, I know, you ride brakeless and it’s never been a problem for you – yet.  I’m not anti-fixie.  I like them.  They’re a bunch of fun.  But while riding without brakes might be a hoot for you and a risk you’re willing to take – the real world consequences of it if you eat it and become a ward of the state, or your mom, or your friends or whoever is nice enough to feed you through a straw for the rest of your life, well gee starts to sound like a shithead idea to me.

I feel strongly about brakes.  Ban away I say.

Onward

Starting from the top

• Bivy Bed Roll (Thermarest, sleeping bag, bivy sack all rolled up in compression sack)
• Black Bag – Rain shelter
• Footprint
• Second grey bag – Clothes.
  • spare t-shirt
  • smart wool shirt
  • sleeping hat
  • socks
  • full bicycling gloves
• Green Bag – misc waterproof bag.  Compression ties, batteries, rope, whatever.
• Tent poles
• Collapsible Fuck-Yeah saw
• Real camp hatchet (skimp on other things, do not skimp on this)
• Cooking Towel
• Flashlight
• Green scrubby and Dr Braunners Soap
• Red Bag 1 – mechanical bag
  • brake cables
  • shifter cables
  • oil
  • plastic sacks
• Red Bag 2 – medical stuff
• Blue Bag – food bag.
  • Spork
  • Collapsable Bowl
  • 2 metal pot holders
  • Tapatio, Salt, Pepper, Oil
  • COFFEEEEEE
• Black bag – water filter
• Small black bag (impossible to see) – Fire starting bag
  • Waterproof hurricane matches
  • Lighter
  • Super handy fire starting sticks and/or pitch wood
• Blue towel
• 1 Blue metal billy* cup – Forget anything else, but do not forget this.  EVER.
• 1 Oregon 300 GPS (COMPLETELY OPTIONAL)
• Titanium cook kit.  stove, fuel, wind shield, pot and lid/frying pan

Not pictured

• Tiny little backpacking grate
• 1lb> cooking griddle
• Swiss Army pocket knife
• Head Lamp
• Tire Fixins
• Real Compass
• Camera
• Small day backpack – worn
  • Goretex
  • Gorp
  • Misc

Off picture – Scott needs to take out his recycling.  Oh how embarassing.

Onward!

Nothing about kayaking across open water seems like a good idea to me.

I’ve never been a water person to be honest.  Or to be more specific, never been an open water person.  Lakes, rivers, streams, creeks and cricks – sign me up.  Other than that… eh.  Climbing into this little plastic dohicky and trying to stay upright or else, over distance… no thanks. But the hook for us as cyclists is because it’s more human/earth locomotion, so in a strange way boats are a strange distant cousin to cycling it turns out.

Anyhow it also turns out a fair number of us have real boats.  Not just kayaks and canoe’s, but real sail boats.  I don’t know how MY posse of drunken bike hooligan friends, how my little sliver of anti-establisment social strata found it within their means to become proper boat people, but lo and behold they have.  Instead of buying a new car or a house and paying for parking and a $250,000+ house mortgage, they bought a $50-$75,000 boat and pay for mooring and bicycle where they need to go.  Or car share.  Or own a shitty car.  Or flexcar.  Or whatever.  They have mortgage payment but it’s significantly cheaper than a house, certainly no more expensive than rent.  Some of them live on their boats, some have an apartment.  I think we have 4 or 5 proper vessels all told.  Many of them are sail boats.  A couple are are motorboats.  Anyway, after you do the math you realize that depending on your priorities, it’s not that far out.  And thus is born the .83 Navy.

This years trip was smaller than last years (which I didn’t make).  Nick and I rode out on The October – Cass and Eric’s 32 foot sail boat that they live on.  I had a friggin blast.  We met Henry and the Dorothy Rose at Blake Island where the kayakers had already beat us there.  We spent the day on board drinking and relaxing in the sun.  In the afternoon we went ashore made camp and dinner and drank around the campfire until it was time for bed.

Role call – kayaks

• Derrick
• Ryan Lemke
• Gretchen (dual kayak)
• Sean (dual kayak)

The October

• Eric
• Cass
• Nick
• Me

The Dorothy Rose

• Henry
• Amanda (Henry’s gf)
• Ben (The angry hippie)
• Laura (Bens gf)

Despite my efforts to keep suntan lotion on, I managed to burn the living crap out of myself.  I am an albino, or close to it, being a red head.  I even asked others to keep an eye on me if I started getting red.  No dice.

Regardless was a good time.  We motored all the way out there from Shilshole Marina and back at a steadyish 5 knots, there not being much wind going out and there being nothing but headwind on the trip home.  Lots of drinking and laughing and napping was had this weekend.  It’s a rough life.

Oh yeah duh, pictures which tell the story unto themselves.

This weekend coming up, camping at Green Mountain aka Joeball Mountain II which we pre-scouted two months ago.  After which there are basically 4 unplanned weekends till Dead Baby in August.  After the last 4 or 5 weekends of back to back camping or being sick or whatever, hope to take a short break and recharge.  Maybe visit Portland.  Maybe do nothing.  We’ll see.  I’m sorta looking forward to the break.

Big thanks to everyone who made this trip what it was.  Cass and Eric for The October, Henry for the Dorothy Rose, Nick for playing Steve Zissou, Ryan for your tent so I didn’t have to set mine up, and the rest.  Good times.

Onward

Congrats Brandon.  Bike theives should be shot on site.

Role Call:

• Andre
• Alex
• Lee
• Kalen
• Clair
• Rogelio
• Jeni
• Monica
• Ryan
• Caroline
• Derrick
• Remington
• Me

My Photo Gallery
Alex’s Photo Gallery – Alex’s Blog Post
Andre’s Photo Gallery

Park and ride at 65th and Ravenna.  Rolled out around 9:45 for Darrington.  Monica had a fractured hand and couldn’t ride, so Rogelio carried her on the back of his Xtracycle and I carried her gear on my bike in one of her panniers.  Derrick showed up with a fresh bottle of Boones Farm.  We were a problem.

Derrick and Lee - check out the mountains behind them. We're in Darrington picking up supplies.

Stopped at the liquor store in Darrington to load up on essentials.

This was a REALLY short ride. Last year we rode in from Darrington making this a nice and easy 30 miler. This year there was a lot of sick and busted people so we drove until the road was closed, a mere 8.5 miles away from the camp site. At that distance, you can get pretty stupid about what you bring. We didn't cut a lot of corners heh. Borderline car camping.

The Suiattle River

Remington testing out the loaded Karate Monkey. Tellin you, this bike is 30 kinds of badass. My camping gear is in the red pannier, Monicas is in the black. I carried a small daypack too, but the only thing in it was a light weight griddle, some tent poles, and the booze.

Remington has the whiskey on quick draw.

Picture by Andre - look mom, I'm on a bike.

Alex and Lee

Good thing this is a short ride. Rogelio carrying Monica on the Xtracycle.

The famous bridge crossing.

We dropped bags at Downey Creek campsite and then Alex and I went further up the trail to Sulphur Creek to check out the site up there. There was a lot of downfall between Downey Creek and Sulphur Creek. All in all Sulphur Creek Campground wasn't bad, but there were already people in it so we stuck with what we had. The Lean-to and firepit make Downey Creek a damn fine place to camp.

We started drinking almost immediately. Jesus. Derrick kept reloading the Boones bottle.

Andre - so pretty!

.83 Bar immediately in full effect. Funny how this seems to follow us wherever we go.

Derrick fishing with Boones Farm. The color blue continued to get lighter and lighter as Derrick would load and reload the bottle with straight Monarch Vodka. Christ.

Alex

We kept throwing logs in and then tried to sink them with rocks. Rogelios pants had a catastrophic blowout and he was left in his pinstriped undies. And a sarong.

Eventually the Boones looked like this - Greyhounds.

Full Moon

For the life of me I do not know how you put these in your mouth.

This is the last picture I took that day.  Andre doing something to that bottle of grapefruit juice.  Apparently I passed out shortly afterwards.  There’s more to that story but it’s all I’m reporting on my own blog.  Self incrimination and whatnot.  I will say I missed the apple rhubarb cobbler.

Photo from Alex - Monica

Photo from Alex

Photo from Alex - Derrick did catch a fish after all

Photo from Alex - Sunday Morning - lookout a few hundred yards up the river from our site

Morning after

Andre brought makings for ice cream sundaes, fortunately there were leftovers because I had them for breakfast.

The grate/griddle thing worked really really well. Breakfast was off the hook. SO MUCH BACON.

Downey Creek - I went down and filtered water under the bridge. Boy that creek is deep and moving fast.

Yes thats a vegetarian corndog being cooked in bacon grease on a griddle.

Unexploded dry ice bombs.

Weather held till then end, then rained on us on the way home.  Very pretty.  Fog on the Suiattle River.

Good times all around.  If we were to make it back up there sometime this summer, I wouldn’t be put off by it too much.

Onward.

MY GALLERY
ALEX’S GALLERY

Alex has a very good blog post about it HERE that I will refer you to.

We got to the Lennox Creek fork around 7:30 and had a decision to make. The road splits here into three different directions and smaller groups explored the start of each of them. We decided to follow along Lennox Creek (which had as much volume as the Snoqualmie River at this point). Lennox Creek had the best scenery and comes tumbling down from the Snoqualmie Pass area in a very tight valley.

Wandered up towards the end of the road till just after sundown and made camp just off the road when it became apparent that no better spot would be had.

NOTE: Do not let hammock people pick your camp spots – or they start doing stuff like this:

Hammock people are weird. They are looking for trees X distance apart and don’t care what the ground is like. I have a hammock but haven’t used it yet – prefer my bivy sack. Of course my brain is now on “shucks why can’t I have both” mode – but that’s a different post. And possibly a different project. I digress.

Hammock camp - pic from Alex

So the boys climbed off the road and into a grove of trees to setup hammocks and filter water from Lennox Creek. I brought my small triangular saw and hatchet and Lee and Andre made a fire back up on the road where I eventually laid out my bedroll instead of down in the trees. We sat around the fire eating dinner and sharing a couple bottles of beer that people brought with them, telling stories and the like. It was a nice night.

Lennox Creek - Picture from Alex

I struggled some on the ride up – was sweating a lot and pretty low energy in general. Made food for dinner and wasn’t hungry for any of it so gave it away. Next morning woke up and was not doing well at all. Could feel myself running a fever and couldn’t stop coughing. Not good. Bugs were bad so we decided to skip breakfast – and coffee – and head back down to the cars.

This was a pretty easy ride and I was sucking it big. Got back down to the cars, drove into town and had breakfast at Twedes by 10:30am – the diner featured in Twin Peaks.

By the time I got home I had a 101.7 temperature. I pounded 4 Advil and crashed on my couch for the next 6 hours. Thats pretty much where I spent the remainder of my weekend. Lame.

The trip was pretty and I’m grateful I was invited – wish I could have enjoyed it more.  Illin sucks.

The handlebar compression sack worked very well, and I learned some things. Affixing it to the handlebars securely was more difficult than I thought it was going to be – quick release compression straps will not work – they loosen too easily.  But I now have a fix for that. The embracing cuff needs to be about 3 inches longer underneath the roll. Pocket tops need to be twice as long so they close when you put something in them. Other than that, it performed beautifully.

This week I’m just trying to get better – next weekend we’re going back into the Suiattle River with a decent group of people.  It’ll be fun and, oh yeah, it’s my trip.  I gotta get better.

Alex’s camera makes me want his camera.

Onward.

There was a time when I took nice pictures.  No, seriously.  I had a knack for composition it turns out.  Now, I take crap pictures.  I blame digital photography.  Something about peering through a viewfinder and pulling the trigger and hearing a satisfying “snicksnick” sound, like a little mechanical heartbeat as the shutter snapped open and closed in the fraction of a second… something about that worked for me.  Now we have preview screens and color saturation options and remember when you just had to be good with color and contrast or you got crappy pictures?  Something about that worked for me, and something about digital photography… well something got lost for me.

I’ve basically given up on taking nice photographs anymore and instead take 200 pictures of everything and string them together into what I hope is a narrative.  No one picture really being particularly inspiring, but together they tell a story.  So here’s the story.  (or just skip to the entire photo gallery)

Remember this?

I really liked it and got me to thinking about a better way to do it.  Turns out Eric at Epic Designs was doing more or less what I’d sorta figured out in my own head what this new and improved system would look like.  Thing is, in my head the design is so simple, seemed silly to buy it outright from someone else.  Should be easy enough to do it on my own – with a little help.  So I enlisted the help of my most excellent friend Laura.

It’s not a complicated design but neither of us have done this kind of sewing before so it’s been a learning experience for both of us.  In the process we also killed her ailing and aging sewing machine part way through version 2 and had to finish on a loaner sewing machine – which was actually a blessing in disguise.  New machine = rad (Thanks Ro!).  Old machine, uh, less rad.  Regarding the handlebar system, this is version 3 and it’s basically done – or done enough for this weekends camping trip!

We’ll do a 4th and final version to make some adjustments – mostly aesthetic – but after that it’s finished.  It works really really well and couldn’t be more pleased.  Laura did a really great job and this came together nicely.

Tehschkott Bags!

This weekend: CAMPING

View Larger Map

Onward.

Okay – here goes.

I can’t get the Tour D’Afrique out of my head. It’s this running theme under the layer of everything else I’m thinking about. I look at the Karate Monkey and all I think about is, what do I need to do to ensure this bike will endure 12,000Km of largely unfinished African road? How will I pay for any of it – pay the very large sum of money to go – pay to hold my stuff when I’m gone – what will I need to get started once I get back? Can I get sponsorship to help pay for it? Should I? Will I have a job when I get back? None of my thoughts are, what if I don’t make it. What if I can’t go. What if this doesn’t happen. In my head it’s already happening. Well, the logistics of it.

I’m reposting this. I don’t care. It’s rad.

Last two weeks have been busy, but not exactly accomplishing. There have been many notables. I sold my Surly Long Haul Trucker, aka the Bicycle Eater to a friend of mine in my bike club. There were several reasons for doing it, but ultimately I have the Pacer, and I have the Karate Monkey, and there is significant overlap between them. Sorta made the Bicycle Eater a little redundant. And the truth is, there’s nothing the Long Haul Trucker can do that the Karate Monkey won’t do better. I lose all my retro-grouch points with this move, but that’s alright. Bikes come and go.

My friend Ben in Nebraska was written up in his local paper. When he started riding he was 567lbs and an unhappy IT jerk. We were friends back then. Then he started riding, started dropping weight like mad, his life started improving vastly. I dunno. Ben’s a good friend, his story is a great story because he pulled himself out of whatever funk he was in and did something about it. Now he’s down to around 350~ and continues to drop weight, is super positive, and rides the flying crap out of his bike. It’s a cool story – GO READ IT. Though we both had different reasons for starting down this road, this guy is why I got into cycling. True story.

Oh, you can also read his blog – http://www.chubbysuperbiker.com/

Ben Dinger, who once weighed 567 pounds, writes about his bicycle adventures in his blog, www.chubbysuperbiker.com. (Robert Becker)

Last week I had an unexpected week of vacation dropped on me. Well… alrighty. Didn’t get as much riding done as I’d hoped to, but the Wreyford Sisters and I did take a day and drive north, up towards Darrington and Rockport to do some exploring and pre-scouting of the upcoming Suiattle camping trip on the 20-21st of this month. When the day was done we’d put about 175 miles on the car, had only ridden about 3 miles, and got kicked out of a private community on a county road around a lake, and a military resort reserved for retirees and active duty personnel. Day was something of a wash, but it was pretty at least.

We live in beautiful country man.

The Wreyford Sisters.

Lessee what else. My friend Laura has been helping me with a sewing project. As stated before, Eric over at Epic Designs has a really great handlebar bag rig that I’ve been interested in. I just don’t want to deal with a 3-5 week wait period and spend what he’s charging for it. Now, when it’s all said and done I’ll probably have spent more money and taken more time doing this then simply dropping the cash and purchasing it from Epic Designs. But meh, I need a project anyhow and who knows, maybe I’ll learn how to sew out of it. Tomorrow Laura and I are getting together to do version 2 of it. I’ll take pics and post em. It’s interesting.

I’m still working on getting my camp kit down in size – refining it. More on that in a later post. On that topic though, a couple of us are going exploring up the North Fork of the Snoqualamie River this weekend which will be cool. I’m looking forward to it.

I guess that’s about it for now. Told you this was going to be an ugly post. Here, you can have a picture of Seattle at sunset to make up for it.

This post makes me feel dirty. Yuck.

Onward.

WHATS A ZOOBOMBER?

Zoobombers are a Portland phenomenon.  They ride the local train called the MAX to the top of the Oregon Zoo, then take an elevator to the top of that top, and then bomb down the hill to the bottom where they catch the train back to the top to do it all over again.  It’s pretty sick.

Oh, and they do it on little kids bikes.

Okay, let’s face facts.  Zoobombers as a crew are loud and arrogant and… loud.  Basically, right up our alley.  Sometimes you love them.  Sometimes you hate them.  I’ve always had a blast with em but many can’t stand them.  As a bike club my verdict is: they’re a hoot.  I’ll drink and ride with em anytime.

Well here’s the thing – after the ride Zoobombers traditionally leave these little bikes in an pile across the street from Powells Books until the next ride.  I always thought it was pretty cool and pretty kooky.

But apparently around 3 years ago the Zoobombers lobbied the city for somewhere safe to store the bikes because they were getting stolen.  Mayor Sam Adams, transportation commissioner at the time, told the Zoobombers to develop an artistic solution to the problem – and lo and behold the Regional Arts and Culture Council gave them $10,000 to build it.

BOOSH!

Zoobombers couldn’t be happier.

pic from http://bikeportland.org - great blog!

It’s at NW 13th Ave and West Burnside.

Local residents are obviously split on the issue – some decrying city funds being allocated to hooliganism, others applaud the decision.  Here at sweetbike – we give it a big fat thumbs up.

Here’s a local article about it.

Here’s a way better article

Onward.

This girl had her little one with her on todays Mass on the viaduct.  Say hello Andrea and Jasper (if I remember correctly).

Was a really nice ride.  Beatiful day, nice route, nice finish. Best mass in months.  Finished off at Golden Gardens.

Onward.

• Friday Night – Core Whore Afterparty at Mr D’s.
• Saturday Morning – Andre, Lee and myself drove down and explored the Carbon River Valley for future camping/biking.  Verdict, no go.  But it was very pretty.
• Saturday night, party at the Belltown Underground
• Sunday morning, Bike Sabbath – we take the ferry over to Manchester State Park to go camping
• Monday come back, refit and go back out for a BBQ at Myrtle Edwards
• After Myrtle Edwards BBQ, Laura and I head down to South Park for another BBQ where there are really great people and above all else, ZOMG PUPPIES.

Ride to Manchester State Park

This is Pita

If I could adopt a puppy, I’d adopt Pita.  There are 6 puppies in this litter, all named after bread.  Pita, Biscuit, Pumpernickle, Chibatta, and two more I can’t remember.

Best weekend ever.  I wish I had the energy to write about it better.

Some of the weirdest bikes the world has ever laid eyes upon have been designed and built by Didi Senft — a 56 year old cycling fan better known as “El Diabo” — whose most recent creation, the Guitar Bicycle measuring 16.4 feet (5 meters) tall and 39.3 feet (12 meters) long was revealed Tuesday in Storkow, some 50 km (31 miles) south of the German capital Berlin.

Pretty badass. Read the link for more pics and details.

NANTES, France (Reuters) – Close to 200 prisoners will cycle around France next month, watched by scores of guards on bicycles, in the first penal version of the Tour de France, authorities said Monday.

One day I will do this.

Wat?

It started on Saturday.  5 of us (Andrew, Stuart, Russell, Andre and myself) took the Bremerton Ferry to the Green Mountain area to do some camping and scouting for the up coming 4th of July trip – dubbed Joeball Mountain.  We did this trip last year, and it was a lot of fun.  Also the weather is incredible and staying indoors is dumb when you can make up excuses like this to get out.

This was also an opportunity to try out my new Karate Monkey.

(You can see the whole photo gallery HERE.)

it’s come a long ways from THIS

Andre’s $16 Goodwill bike.  LOL.

Andrew, chillin.

Weather was just incredible, the whole time.  The ferry ride, nice.

Rode out there, stopped at the little bodega by Wildcat Lake to stock up on a little beer before making the climb into the camp ground.

You know, we came up here last year and pushed bikes up hills but I figured it was just because I found myself on a super rocky and steep logging road on a road bike.  Turns out having the KM was better, but didn’t really change that too much.  It’s a steep fucking climb into this camp ground, and no foolin.  We didn’t walk the whole thing, but there are a couple parts that are pretty brutal.

In the end, getting up there is work, but it’s not very long and you’re there in no time.  The camp ground itself was completely empty this time, whereas last year we showed up and the upper camping spots were taken up by horse camp.  Since it was empty we occupied one of the nicer horse camp sites this time, closer to the well.  Russ brought out his Fosters Can stove which worked well enough, if slowly.  He’d heard you could make tea out of nettles so boiled some nettle leaves in his little pot.  Said it didn’t taste too bad but wasn’t anything to write home about.

Andre found a huge pile of split and drying wood under a covered area on the other side of camp.  Which was made only better by the wheel barrel we also found to carry wood over to the fire pit.  Jeez it was nice.

Andre splitting wood for the fire.

Camp for me was a Biv Sack and a tarp.  I tried to use the footprint from my tent for the tarp but truth is it’s too narrow with no middle grommet.  It worked out okay in the end, but I want to get a better tarp.

After we rested a bit and setup camp, we hit the road to do a little exploring.  According to the map there was a vista lookout point around the other side of the mountain, so we headed out there to find it.

We only had one mechanical this trip, and it was mine.  My chain snapped.  I fucking hate HATE SRAM chains.  I like the magic link, I hate their chains.  This is like the 4th NEW SRAM chain I’ve snapped over the past 2 years.   NEW.  Fortunately my multi-tool had a chain-tool on it and the break wasn’t too far from the magic link.  But it made a borderline length chain 2 inches too short meaning I’d lost some gears as a result.  I will never buy another SRAM chain again, now that I know magic links will work on Shimano chains.  Anyhow, this was a 15 minute fix, and blah blah blah, I digress.

Once up there you could see a long ways.  Looking East, you could see Rainier off to the right, Glacier Peak, and I think Baker to the left.  Couldn’t really get a good shot with my camera so you’ll have to use your imagination I guess. 

Stuart and Andrew taking a rest.

Looking West was prettier I think though.

Then it was back to the camp.  According to the map there was a mountain-bike trail that theoretically would take us right back to the campsite.  We found the trail – it was well marked and banked single track – and boy it was a lot of fun.  There were parts where spring water would bubble up and use the trail as a sort of drainage so a good part of the time you’d be riding in 1/8th inch of water on a rocky path about a foot wide.  I was too busy riding it to take pictures of it I realize now, but wish I had.  I’ve never done any sort of mountain biking, but here I was in the mountains with my new 29er.  Fuggit.  It was now or never.  For the next 45 minutes we ran this trail up and down and around until finally, lo and behold it dumped us back into camp, just like the map said.  Yeah – what a hoot.  I could do more of that.

Incidentally, I had a 2.55 inch Weirwolf tire up front and a 2.1 inch Nano Raptor in the back, and this worked great.  Although in my last post I’d done this mistakenly – truth is it works really well.  I think I will continue this trend of big tire up front and smaller tire in the back.

Dinner was beef stroganoff.

We stayed up till I guess around 10 and finally racked out.  I didn’t sleep very well due to allergies, but the rest of the gang seemed to get a lot of shuteye without problem.  Andrew however was up more or less at sun up, so I got up too.  In short order most of us except Stuart were up and about making coffee, eating breakfast, etc.

And after breakfast we packed up and rolled out by around 8:30 or 9am I think.  One of the nice things about the Biv Sack is you can just roll the whole thing up, bag, pad, and all and you’re done.  Carrying it on the KM like this proved to be a very VERY successful method – will probably do it again in the future.

We found and took the main drag road out of the camp site.  It’s a nice flat graded road and there’s some temptation to take people up it instead of the steep logging roads, but I think it’d be a mistake.  Sure the grade is more gradual and the road better, but the route is probably 3 times as long.  But man is it awesome to bomb the next morning – it just goes on and on.

Got into town early and snagged the 10:20 ferry home.  When you’re up at daylight and daylight starts at 5:30am, it’s easy to cover a lot of distance by noon.

Bremerton Naval Shipyard with an aircraft carrier in dock as we pulled away for Seattle.

Back in Seattle by a little after 11 am.  24 hours.  On the way home ran into Prof Dave and Donnie manning an Urban Assault checkpoint at the Collonade Park about 200 meters from my front door.  Pulled over, said hello and talked to them for a bit, then wandered home for a 4 hour nap with my cat.

When I woke up there were all sorts of text messages.  Such a beautiful day, so many bike things going on!  My bike was really muddy from running that single track mountainbike path, and Prof Dave and Donnie told me about a bike wash to commemorate the opening of a new bike shop in Georgetown being hosted by the Bicycle Belles.  So I saddled back up and rode the Monkey to Georgetown to have hot girls wash my bike for donations.

This was 30 kinds of awesome.

NICE!  Phils Tenacious Oil!  Sweet chain lubing dude.

Bike Sabbath was there (aka a pile of bike jerks), getting cleaned up before departing for Carkeek Park to cook hotdogs.  I’d have gone but frankly I didn’t want to climb out of that park which is pretty gnarly, so went and got some grub with Ken and Laura before going home.

The lovely and talented Savory rubbed and polished my dirty dirty bicycle back to it’s gleaming former self.

zomg so hot.

Anyhow, great weekend, I’m pooped.  Going to try and head out to the Suiattle River next weekend for more bike camping – it’s a 3 day weekend (Memorial Day).  I want to talk more about the bike wash thing later.  You can see the whole photo gallery HERE.

This summer is going to rule.

Onward.

After thoughts…

• The Biv Sack works well enough but want one with the hoop over the head if I’m going to keep on with it.  Matthew has offered to sell me his hammock for cheap – need to PM him about it so I can try it out.
• Must get a better overhead tarp – something with a center grommet.
• Hanging the bedroll from the handlebars works really really well.  And it’d allow me to get my load down to one pannier, easily.  I just found that Epic Designs makes a handelbar bag system that’s utterly badass and take this idea to the next level.  In fact I’ve got an Old Man Mountain Cold Springs front rack on back order I’m going to cancel now in favor of this plan.  My bike does NOT need another rack.  Christ.  I don’t know yet if I’m going to try and make this, or just buy it from Epic.
• I still have a philosophical problem with Ortlieb panniers in that they’re great on the bike and nothing but awkward when not on the bike.  They work great, I had no problems with them, but they weren’t going anywhere except that bike rack or the camp site.  I might look at Arkel again for a backpack/pannier.
• The Old Man Mountain Sherpa rear rack was fucking great.  Worth every nickle.  And I think it’s the same price as a Tubus.
• The stove I bought is overkill.  It’s more stove than I’ll ever use I realize now.  I didn’t bring it on this trip – in fact haven’t brought it on any trips.  Russell’s beer can stove worked well and was interesting.  I’m not saying I think that’s the solution for me, but it’s a solution.
• The road out of Joeball Mountain is badass but would not recommend coming up it since it will drag make the route up there out and make it around 3 times as long.  Folks are going to enjoy bombing down it the next morning.  It’s also a possible route for a sag wagon if say, we want someone to meet us up there with beer.  Can I get a “hell yes?”
• Pick up a new metal pot holder.  You lost yours at Ben Country jerky.
• Always always always have the means to boil your own water.  Whether that means a proper gas stove or simply a metal cup a pot holder and the means to make fire.  I was sorta lacking in this field and felt a little naked.
• People are weird about cooking in a fire – not wanting to get their cooking gear scorched up.Cooking gear is supposed to get like that.  And frankly, unless I’m doing something really special purpose, I don’t think I want a pot I can’t put in the fire if need be.  That’s swell that your pot never gets scorched up.  I guess when you go to resell it, it’ll look pretty or something.  Maybe it’s fear of fire. I see that a lot.  People who don’t understand fire, who are afraid of it.  I guess if I were afraid of fire I wouldn’t consider cooking over it either.  I dunno.  I’m just wandering here.
• Pick up a belt holster for the mag lite because you lost yours.
• Dead reckoning will get you around, but it’d be good to have a proper map and compass, not only of the area but a larger scale one too. You can triangulate your position if you have peaks like Rainier and Baker on the horizon, do some orienteering.  That or a GPS with the local area maps loaded.
• Load up on military grade allergy medicine.  And always bring bug spray and sunscreen, even if you don’t think you’ll need it.  I was grateful I’d brought mine.
• Carry a couple extra magic links and like 6 inches of bicycle chain.  If my chain had broken in a different place, it would have been really uncomfortable for everyone.
• It was good that one of us had a hatchet.  I usually carry mine anyhow.  I know Andre brought his fuck-yeah saw.

Funny thing about the Karate Monkey.  I’ll let Surly describe it – from their most excellent BLOG POST:

When we first designed the Karate Monkey frameset in 2002, there was an array of front ders on the market that worked great and allowed adequate rear tire clearance. Since then, Shimano has come up with a new “dual pull” derailleur that is both “top pull” and “bottom pull” all in one derailleur. While this may be good for bike shops because they only have to stock one derailleur that fits the use of many, these “dual pull” front ders are hideously large and don’t give you proper rear tire clearance. Now it seems Shimano wants to flood the market with this “dual” der. Changing the design of the KM to accomodate this bulky derailleur, however, would make the KM’s handling suffer, so that simply isn’t an option.

In response, Surly built the above pictured “Monkey Nuts” to bring your rear wheel back like 15mm or so.\

Without Monkey Nuts	With Monkey Nuts

So wasn’t I surprised when I strapped a pair of 2.35 inch Scwalbe Big Apples to my bike without Monkey Nuts and still had half an inch clearance!  Woot.  Then on Tuesday before our ride someone looks at my bike and says, is your rear tire smaller than your front tire?  Nope!  I reply – both 2.35 Big Apples.  No it turns out, I took a 2.0 Big Apple off to put the 2.35 on, and turned right around and put that very tire back on the bike.  Way to go winner.  Fortunately everyone applauded the decision as being very forward thinking and logical “…an old hard-tail rigid frame mountain bike trick” someone even said.  And I sorta rolled with it as if it were intentional.  But in my heart I knew it was just a bonehead mistake and suddenly understood why I had clearance on that rear derailleur after all.  It made me laugh inside.

So, not that it rode badly at all, just to prove the theory I swapped the tire out with the appropriate 2.35 and low and behold – yeah. Need Monkey Nuts if I’m going to roll 2.25s or bigger it would seem.

Now here’s where it gets truly awesome.  Because as I’m pumping up the 2.35 with my floor pump to mount it for the first time, I think I also forgot to check to see that the bead was set properly because around 60psi the fucking thing detonates.

Let me tell you – when a tube that big explodes it WILL ring your bell.  It was also good I went to my downstairs neighbor afterwards because they thought a shotgun went off.  The tire was fine but the tube was shredded.  Eesh.  Oh and funny story – it also knocked my brand new 3 cross hand built wheel out of true.  Not kidding.

So last night was a night of successes and awesomeness on many fronts.  I learned that a fat front tire up front and smaller tire in back is not only an old mountain bike trick, it’s the only thing I can do until I get a pair of Monkey Nuts, or am limited to < 2.25 tires.  Not really the end of the world for the summer months.  I also learned to ensure the bead on these tires is set before inflating them to full capacity – I knew that but didn’t do it.  And I learned I should learn how to true wheels because I now have to take it to someone, which is pretty annoying.

Some days I hate bikes.

This weekend there is camping and exploring to be had. Can’t wait.

Onward

I’m so friggin happy right now. I’m like a little kid.

I picked up a minimalist biv sack – little more than a nylon sack with a waterproof bottom enough for a sleeping bag and pad.  And I ran into fellow .83 bike jerk Matthew at REI today who offered to sell me his hammock for half of whatever a new one costs.  I don’t know what I feel about either of these items as a stand alone replacement for a tent – but tents, even small and light ones, are bulky and heavy.  If you can spread the load between two people it’s not a big deal, but I’m trying to figure out something for a single person, trying to get the weight down.  I mean, everyones got their own setup – what they like and what works for them.  What they’re willing to sacrifice, what kind of cruft they can shave away without making the experience uncomfortable.

I’m still figuring out mine.  I’ll try out this hammock thing but suspect that the biv sack under a rain tarp will be sufficient for my needs.

As far as cooking and eating – I have a collapsable bowl and a titanium spork that actually work very very well.  I want to find a small metal billy with a lid and bail for cooking/drinking coffee/tea/soup with.  Already have a stove – the Brunton All Fuel.

Anyhow – lots to do and think.  I love it.

Today – perfect weather.  I bailed on all my plans with everyone and spent the day riding around and being quiet, reading my book and whatnot.  It’s been really nice.  Tonight I’m heading out to go to BTM’s birthday shindig in Georgetown.  Should be a good time.

This summer is going to rule.

Onward.

2 – Riding the Karate Monkey without fenders in the rain is like turning on a hose and shoving it down your pants, front and back.

3 – This might be the most versatile and comfortable bike I own.

Okay seriously – I’m done buying bikes.  This is number 4, and 3 of them are Surlys.  Heh. Going camping weekend after this one – will probably bring this.  Sheldon Brown said the Karate Monkey was the most versatile bike he’d ever seen.  I believe it.

My stable now looks like this:

1. Fast Bike – LeMond
2. Daily Bike – Surly Pacer
3. Haulin Stuff Long Distances Bike – Surly Long Haul Trucker
4. 29er Mountain Bike – Surly Karate Monkey

I’m pleased.
In other news, I rode to work today.  Not such a big deal, but feels like there are a lot of reasons to not ride and I seem to be taking them lately.  It’s cold, it’s wet, I’m late, I don’t want to be sweaty at work today, I need to pick up groceries, I just don’t feel like it, I’m tired, the bus will be here in a second…  I mean, the truth is there are a thousand reasons not to ride.  There are ALWAYS a thousand reasons not to ride.  Everyone else uses those excuses not to ride.  I LIKE to ride – it’s easy to be lazy though.  I guess that’s my main point.  So I rode in today even though it was cold and raining and felt better for doing it.  I seriously need to get back to doing it 5 days a week and not like 2 days a week.  It’s not as if I don’t like it loads and loads.  I totally do.  I’m just being lazy and need to get over it.

Anyhow – riding bikes.  Blah blah blah.  Do it more.

Onward.