2010 Xmas Tree Massacre & Calendar Release Party – the aftermath
Posted on January 10, 2010
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Wrecks | 5 Comments
Dude. Seriously.
Between myself and a couple others, we prestocked 14 good sized trees at my house. That’s out of some 40 trees that eventually showed up. We prefunked at my place, strapped trees to trailers and trees to bikes and trees to bags and rode out to Westlake Center to meet everyone else.
Video from Rory. This is how we got the trees out there.
Words don’t cover this. And really, it takes everyone to tell the story properly. So these are the pictures – from everyone. What an incredible mess. Click the picture for the flickr/smugmug/gallery link. Thanks everyone. Amazing night.
After this mess, we stumbled over to the Sloop and had our 2010 Calendar Release Party. Miles, you rule. This was fun. Everyones picture was great. The calendar looks excellent. There aren’t any more for sale I’m told, which is really too bad. But given the financial requirements, don’t blame him. He footed the whole bill and just pushed to break even. Awesome job Miles. Thanks to Henry Rose and Sean Sweeney for shooting the pictures.
After all that, fires, booze, and sharpies… the calendar signing sorta got out of hand…






Another victim of the Sharpie Armageddon. Pictured - The Beard
Oh, and my picture? This is me, Mr November.
It’s going to be a good year.
Onward.
http://point83.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7849
http://point83.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7834
Tomorrow: .83 Annual Xmas Tree Massacre AND 2010 .83 Bicycle Boys Calendar Release Party
Posted on January 6, 2010
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Events, Wrecks | 1 Comment
Zomg that’s a mouthful.
So, yes. Tomorrow are TWO events that are so awesome they can barely be in the same room together. FIRST OFF – it is the annual .83 Xmas Tree Massacre! At 7pm we will meet at Westlake Center and at 730 we will ride/carry/haul all the Xmas trees we can find/carry to Golden Gardens and have a completely f-ing epic bonfire on the beach and send them to their maker.

CHECK OUT MY BLOG POST FROM LAST YEAR ABOUT IT
After the massacre, we will roll – drunkenly – to the Sloop where we will have the 2010 .83 Bicycle Boys Calendar Release Party around 10~10:30! So help me god, I’m in it. I think I’m Mr November. I dunno. It’s going to be great. And by great I mean terrible. And by terrible I mean great. Come on out. Even if you don’t have a tree to burn. It’s going to be a dry night tomorrow night (c’mon positive thinking). Help see 2010 and a whole new decade in with your favorite drunken bike morons over fire, booze, bikes, and… and… I forgot where I was going with that.
All (over 21+) are invited and encouraged to come.
Tonight: More tree hunting.
Tomorrow: FIRE!
Onward.
2010 Men of .83 Calendar!
Posted on December 8, 2009
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Events, For Sale, Wrecks | Leave a Comment
Turns out, Molly isn’t doing a bike-girl calendar this year, so Miles decided to do a bike-boy calendar sorta at the last minute. It’s not really to raise money – more of a, this seems like it’d be a hoot. So we all went to Henry’s on Saturday and between Henry and Sean Sweeney, we spent the day trying to do all the shots in one day. We got close, but there are a couple more that need taking. The event itself was hilarious. 12 boys running around in Henry’s loft in their underwear, with bikes. I’m not saying it was gay or anything…
Calendars are being sold for $10 if you pre-order. Go click on the above thingy and pay your dues. Here are a few more out-takes of the shoot. ZOMG what a mess.
GO PRE-ORDER YOUR CALENDAR NOW
Onward
Life – catchup
Posted on July 20, 2009
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Misc | Leave a Comment
Well, much has been going on. Slightly less bike camping, more daily riding with the locals (.83) here in town. Summer is in full swing. And it has been ridiculous fun.
Too many bars and too many miles to go into specifics. A couple recent highlights.
I lent my Pacer to Jeff for a couple days, and then he left for RAGBRAI. My Pacer remains in his house. Oops. Not a big deal actually. I’ve been using the excuse to ride the LeMond aka “30 Rock” because really, I never ride it. Weather’s been so nice… boy it’s been a good time. This is a really great bike and I’ve been happy to have the excuse.
Anyhow, other things…
Last Thursday about 60 of us had a no-reason costume ride that morphed into a running of the bulls ride.
I’m the one in the dress. Derrick Ito – aka Ronald McFondle.

Photo by Andre
I mean seriously, we were a mess.
From here, down to Cowgirls Inc to ride the mechanical bull at that douchewad bar, then over to Goldies for some serious Karaoke action. Yeah, I rode the bull. And I sang me some karaoke. In a dress. I’m embarassing.

Photo by Andre - L to R - Jeff, me, Derrick
Travesty I tell you.
Friday was Henry’s birthday shindig. Saturday was lounging on Madrona Beach and then Cass’s birthday party at The Nickerson, Sunday was riding with Slow Sunday out to ABR and then an impromptu BBQ at Lincoln Park, then a ride over to the Chop Suey where some vodka company called 42 Below was hosting more Gerbil Wheel sprints with the Emerald City boys.
For the life of me I do not understand the appeal of indoor sprints when the weather is so incredible outside this time of year. On the 4th of July they put on REAL bike sprints outside on the Bridge to Nowhere at the Arboretum and it was totally fucking great. Real bikes, real distance, real sprints. Save this roller stuff for shitty weather and unridable conditions I say. Bah HUMBUG.
Still it was a good time, Ryan and the boys from Emerald City did a fine job putting this together – my hat’s off to em. Even I got conned into sprinting. Someone said oh it’s just for fun. I’m like, waiddaminnite losing’s not fun. But they were short a guy and after much pressuring I finally mounted up.
You know, walking up to the bikes I had this small fantasy in my head that I was going to get on and due to some genetic autistic like abnormality completely out of my control, I was going to get on this bike and we would discover that I had this unbelievable GIFT. Like I was going to be the fat retarded kid that could for whatever reason play poker better than anyone on earth. I would be the Rainman of sprinting it would be revealed. I would be the fastest dude ever. I would get off the bike sweaty and panting, smile and say something like, “Wow what happened?” and everyone would cheer and pat me on the back. Cyclists and bar hoochies would come up smiling to congratulate me with this newfound respect in their eyes like holy shit, you’re really fast! Some cute bike girl would come up and plant one on me. It would be great.
I lost by 6 seconds. It’s a 500 meter dash. Fuck. He could have stopped, had a cigarette, and still beaten me. My Rainman sprinting dream was dead in it’s retarded little shoes. In front of everyone it was revealed I possess no special powers or abilities. And nobody was surprised. It made me a little sad.
But again, even after my mighty fall from grace I found myself smiling more often than not. And my consolation for the night was that my adversary is a fellow .83er – Patrick – and he took first place. So if I’m going to get beat, might as well get beat by the fucking champ.
Last details, my camera died two weeks ago. I’m still debating what kind of camera to get next. Until then, you get these verbose posts and a series of thieved photographs from everyone else. If you have camera recommendations, I’m up for em. Will probably just ask what Alex uses though and get one of those.
There are a pile of details I’m glossing over with all this post of course. Personal stuff, geeky stuff, riding stuff, stupid stuff. The stuff our summers are made of – this travesty of a life in Seattle. Boy, it’s pretty rough.
Summers in Seattle. Hell yes. Ride your bike.
Onward.
PS – stumbled across this on the BBC today:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8158729.stm
Somalia deports Chinese cyclist
Lee Yue Zhong said he was disappointed not reach Mogadishu
A Chinese cyclist has been forced to put the brakes on a 12-year world tour, after officials in Somalia deported him for not having the right documents.
Man, when you get deported from Somalia – a country without a government – wow. I mean seriously – you got deported by a country famous for having a serious and uncontrollable problem with FUCKING PIRATES. PIRATES. I guess Somalia’s on top of this wandering cyclist immigration problem though.
If I had to guess I’d say they were probably doing this for his own good, but still. At least they just sent him to the adjacent country and not back to China.
On a personal note I’d like to argue that getting thrown out of a country probably beats riding through it – at least in terms of story telling around the campfire. Like driving a Ferrari. What’s a better story, driving one, or totalling one? I rest my case. But for a guy on a 12 year bicycle tour, well. I he probably has a pile of stories and getting thrown out of a country is probably kids stuff to him by now.
Best of luck mate.
Joeball Mountain II
Posted on July 3, 2009
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Camping | Leave a Comment
Onward
Bikes = Boats = Blake Island
Posted on June 30, 2009
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Camping | Leave a Comment
For a change of pace last weekend, the .83 navy mobilized (in part) for Blake Island. This started as a kayak trip from Alkai to Blake, which is about 4.5 miles.
Nothing about kayaking across open water seems like a good idea to me.
I’ve never been a water person to be honest. Or to be more specific, never been an open water person. Lakes, rivers, streams, creeks and cricks – sign me up. Other than that… eh. Climbing into this little plastic dohicky and trying to stay upright or else, over distance… no thanks. But the hook for us as cyclists is because it’s more human/earth locomotion, so in a strange way boats are a strange distant cousin to cycling it turns out.
Anyhow it also turns out a fair number of us have real boats. Not just kayaks and canoe’s, but real sail boats. I don’t know how MY posse of drunken bike hooligan friends, how my little sliver of anti-establisment social strata found it within their means to become proper boat people, but lo and behold they have. Instead of buying a new car or a house and paying for parking and a $250,000+ house mortgage, they bought a $50-$75,000 boat and pay for mooring and bicycle where they need to go. Or car share. Or own a shitty car. Or flexcar. Or whatever. They have mortgage payment but it’s significantly cheaper than a house, certainly no more expensive than rent. Some of them live on their boats, some have an apartment. I think we have 4 or 5 proper vessels all told. Many of them are sail boats. A couple are are motorboats. Anyway, after you do the math you realize that depending on your priorities, it’s not that far out. And thus is born the .83 Navy.
This years trip was smaller than last years (which I didn’t make). Nick and I rode out on The October – Cass and Eric’s 32 foot sail boat that they live on. I had a friggin blast. We met Henry and the Dorothy Rose at Blake Island where the kayakers had already beat us there. We spent the day on board drinking and relaxing in the sun. In the afternoon we went ashore made camp and dinner and drank around the campfire until it was time for bed.
Role call – kayaks
- Derrick
- Ryan Lemke
- Gretchen (dual kayak)
- Sean (dual kayak)
The October
- Eric
- Cass
- Nick
- Me
The Dorothy Rose
- Henry
- Amanda (Henry’s gf)
- Ben (The angry hippie)
- Laura (Bens gf)
Despite my efforts to keep suntan lotion on, I managed to burn the living crap out of myself. I am an albino, or close to it, being a red head. I even asked others to keep an eye on me if I started getting red. No dice.
Regardless was a good time. We motored all the way out there from Shilshole Marina and back at a steadyish 5 knots, there not being much wind going out and there being nothing but headwind on the trip home. Lots of drinking and laughing and napping was had this weekend. It’s a rough life.
Oh yeah duh, pictures which tell the story unto themselves.
This weekend coming up, camping at Green Mountain aka Joeball Mountain II which we pre-scouted two months ago. After which there are basically 4 unplanned weekends till Dead Baby in August. After the last 4 or 5 weekends of back to back camping or being sick or whatever, hope to take a short break and recharge. Maybe visit Portland. Maybe do nothing. We’ll see. I’m sorta looking forward to the break.
Big thanks to everyone who made this trip what it was. Cass and Eric for The October, Henry for the Dorothy Rose, Nick for playing Steve Zissou, Ryan for your tent so I didn’t have to set mine up, and the rest. Good times.
Onward
Suiattle, The Return – Now Langston Free!
Posted on June 21, 2009
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Camping, Maps, Routes | 2 Comments

Role Call:
- Andre
- Alex
- Lee
- Kalen
- Clair
- Rogelio
- Jeni
- Monica
- Ryan
- Caroline
- Derrick
- Remington
- Me
My Photo Gallery
Alex’s Photo Gallery – Alex’s Blog Post
Andre’s Photo Gallery
Park and ride at 65th and Ravenna. Rolled out around 9:45 for Darrington. Monica had a fractured hand and couldn’t ride, so Rogelio carried her on the back of his Xtracycle and I carried her gear on my bike in one of her panniers. Derrick showed up with a fresh bottle of Boones Farm. We were a problem.
This was a REALLY short ride. Last year we rode in from Darrington making this a nice and easy 30 miler. This year there was a lot of sick and busted people so we drove until the road was closed, a mere 8.5 miles away from the camp site. At that distance, you can get pretty stupid about what you bring. We didn't cut a lot of corners heh. Borderline car camping.
Remington testing out the loaded Karate Monkey. Tellin you, this bike is 30 kinds of badass. My camping gear is in the red pannier, Monicas is in the black. I carried a small daypack too, but the only thing in it was a light weight griddle, some tent poles, and the booze.

Picture by Andre - look mom, I'm on a bike.
We dropped bags at Downey Creek campsite and then Alex and I went further up the trail to Sulphur Creek to check out the site up there. There was a lot of downfall between Downey Creek and Sulphur Creek. All in all Sulphur Creek Campground wasn't bad, but there were already people in it so we stuck with what we had. The Lean-to and firepit make Downey Creek a damn fine place to camp.
Derrick fishing with Boones Farm. The color blue continued to get lighter and lighter as Derrick would load and reload the bottle with straight Monarch Vodka. Christ.
We kept throwing logs in and then tried to sink them with rocks. Rogelios pants had a catastrophic blowout and he was left in his pinstriped undies. And a sarong.
This is the last picture I took that day. Andre doing something to that bottle of grapefruit juice. Apparently I passed out shortly afterwards. There’s more to that story but it’s all I’m reporting on my own blog. Self incrimination and whatnot. I will say I missed the apple rhubarb cobbler.
Andre brought makings for ice cream sundaes, fortunately there were leftovers because I had them for breakfast.
Downey Creek - I went down and filtered water under the bridge. Boy that creek is deep and moving fast.
Weather held till then end, then rained on us on the way home. Very pretty. Fog on the Suiattle River.
Good times all around. If we were to make it back up there sometime this summer, I wouldn’t be put off by it too much.
Onward.
Ben Country
Posted on May 5, 2009
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak | Leave a Comment
Still haven’t reported on it because I’m still recovering from it. Stay posted.
I’m uploading my pictures to my gallery now. I’d like to note I charged my camera battery but somehow managed to run out of juice half way to the campsite so I’m largely photo-less. Which is really too bad because it was really pretty. Anyhow: more backfiller to come.
Click the pic below for my meagre gallery.
Filmed By Bike (last weekend)
Posted on April 23, 2009
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak, Events | 3 Comments
Bah, I’m never going to get to it.
Around 40 of us made our way to Portland last weekend for the Filmed By Bike Film Festival. Most of us took the train and our bikes. A couple of us car-pooled. I don’t have time to go into it all, but it was super fun and I have a truck load of pictures.
(click the pictures for the entire gallery)
FRIDAY
- Train down and get shitfaced drinking Greyhouds on the train
- Go to Andys’
- Get Cuban food
- Pickup other .83 kids from later train ride
- Get beer and dinner at some outdoor place on Burnside
- Go to Filmed By Bike film festival at the Clinton Street Theater
- Ride around PDX getting more shitfaced with point83
- Stop at Union Jacks (strip club) with said bike jerks – AND LEAVE MONICA THERE (too funny)
- Meet PDX bike club The Dropouts (read: PDX Dead Baby) and have 1am ride with them
- Get 2 pinch flats at the same time
- Burn shit on the banks of the river.
- Pass out
SATURDAY
- Breakfast at Screen Door
- City Bike for parts and tubes
- Clever Cycles
- Meet Eric Stata – ride Springwater trail out towards Reed College.
- Run into Prof Dave and family at Clinton Street Theatre as we rolled by
- Roots Brewery
- Powells Books
- Back to Roots Brewery (left my card there)
- Drinks at Merde waiting for Monica
- Dinner at Montage (Mac and cheese hell yes)
- Andy’s to recharge
- Magic Gardens (strip club)
- Ground Kontrol (drunken arcade)
- Tube – soul club – totally fuck yeah
- Ride home pass out
SUNDAY
- Waffle Truck
- Langston misses the train
- Powells to buy books I couldn’t buy the day before because I’d left my card at Roots Brewery
- Pearl District blocks park all day napping and reading books in the shade of big trees
- Meet Laura at train station
- Train home
- Pass out
Good weekend gang. Weekend after next – bike camping at Ben Country!
Onward
Fucking Hills Race 2009 – the aftermath
Posted on February 24, 2009
Filed Under .83, Bike Kwak | 2 Comments
It’s Tuesday. The race was Sunday. What a great ride. 33 miles of Hills on Bainbridge Island. So rad.

(map compliments of Monica)
Met up at Alaskan and Washington under the viaduct, paid our $7 and affixed our pirate flags. Derrick made 90 flags and ran out. I think registration was around 125 riders. And EVERYONE got a prize or two.
Gregg getting an early start on the day with a Rainier.
While waiting in line we worked with David Hiller of Cascade Bicycle Club to do some advocacy work by calling the Ballard rep. Here, Gretchen is doing her part to contribute.
Ginger brought Una. Though Una didn’t run the route, we’re all pretty sure she could have. She was pretty exhausted by the day though – didn’t like the ferry.
Donated Dahon Hammerhead 7.0
Derrick pulling the sag wagon full of messenger bags and schwag with the Dahon.
Ferry ride over was pretty smooth. Everyone was in high spirits. We hit the ground running and started racing immediately. Friction with Cascade was non existant. I got a lot of questions about the pirate flag and who we were. Thing of it is, we’re one of the most active bike clubs in town, I think there’s decent interest in finding a group that rides socially without a lot of bikey todo about it. I mean, beyond big events like this, normal Cascade rides seem to be sorta few and far between and relatively low grade. Rode with this girl Laura who’d registered for the Chilly Hilly for awhile. She’s been riding with a team of other tri-athletes. Had a nice conversation about it all, and then she left me in the dust on the next big hill. Heh. Hills, I loathe thee.
I’d stripped off the CETMA rack for the race – seemed like everyone was shedding weight for the race. not knowing what to expect, I followed suit. I also used the FHR as an excuse to strap on a pair of Shimano 105 brifters I found at Recycled Cycle for $100 about 3 months ago. Also ditched those Armadillo tires for Vittoria Rubino’s which were MUCH lighter and seemed to hold up just as well – made a big difference just in general ride quality and speed. Anyhow, not to bike-dork out about this too much, these turned out to be really good choices. With 30 gears (3×10) that bike has a lot of granularity, and a lot of room to squeeze some extra power/speed. And I’m fat and slow so need all the help I can get. This bike rode like a fucking champ. Couldn’t be more pleased.
Whatever – back to the race. It was fucking awesome. And Derrick met us about half way out with:
a manditory whiskey stop and helmet swap. Turns out we are a bunch of cheating bitches – later it would come to light there was a lotta shortcut takin goin on. Next time we need 3 of these things like alleycat check points. Fortunately nobody takes this shit seriously – especially us.
Cops put an APB out for Ben for riding without a helmet. Rumor has it Captain Nick also got nipped – this was a hundred meters before the whiskey stop here where they told them they had to walk their bikes the rest of the route. Whatever – as stated this was about 100m from the whiskey stop, so they walked their bikes over to us, helmets were donated to the APB’d riders and the ride ensued.
Not many pictures of the ride itself. It was beautiful and picturesque. The hills were insanely steep but relatively short. According to my computer I did 33.3 miles in 2hrs and 15 minutes, average speed of 14.8mph, maximum speed of 44.8mph!!! Those hills were hella steep going up, and fortunately they were equally steep going down – boy you just bomb em. Incredibly fun. I only stopped 4 times and I never walked up a hill. Once to strip off my outer goretex layer (I rode the rest of it in a Tshirt and arm warmers). Once to double check my bike for loose bolts – after that first hill you really really didn’t want anything flying off cause you’d be dead. Once to force myself to drink water – weather was cool and it’d rained that morning so it was sorta damp and nice but I was still sweating a fair amount. And once to try and help this Cascade fella with a flat tire. Radio car came and got him and I got back on the road. I ran into him at the end of the race and he came and shook my hand. Spreading a little pirate cheer. We’re not total dicks afterall.
Finish line was the dock behind Doc’s Cafe
Ryan was broke-dick beating up a drunk at a bar so couldn’t ride, but turns out he’s still got skills in the kitchen and was on this chilli action, compliments of Shannon and Nygaard – Nygaard who was not present for the race at all, due to sick wife and dog.
Then it was time for the schwag give away
Derrick did all the work getting prizes for the most part. The Eastlake Zoo donated panties and shirts. Gretchen and Ashley walked away with the panties.
Dahon donated an entire Hammerhead 7.0 bike! Thanks Dahon! Raffled it off to a very surprised Bill Turner.
Freaky lookin but felt good – hell I was pretty disappointed I didn’t win it, and Bill was plenty stoked he did. Cass and Eric met us at the finish line on their boat The October – which strikes a singularly unique shape against the rest of the other boats.
Then, back to the ferry for most of us.
Home…
Sitting there we realized the October* was coming along side us, so we went out to say hello
And suddenly we heard from the sky like god commanding Moses:
“PULL UP YOUR PANTS OR GET OFF THE BOAT”
Across the ship wide intercom for everyone within a quarter mile to hear. We just fucking died. Funniest thing ever.
Apparently Margaret was on the boat and this was the view from there, as we were re-pantsing.
Big Sky
We all regrouped at the Owl and Thistle for drinks and dinner once back in the city, and later wandered home in the rain drunk, and fed, and tired, and happy.
BEST RIDE EVER.
I think there were an estimated 5000 Cascade riders – I think there were 125 pirates this year. The Seattle PI covered the Chilly Hilly with a beautiful photo spread you should go and look at HERE. What’s sorta interesting is with a ratio like that, they still managed to get a picture of one of us. Albeit blurry, the bike in the background is Andre, and you can see the pirate flag tied to his seat. Hilarious.

Oh yeah – in terms of schwag I scored pretty well. I got a Park bottle opener which is rad, a T-shirt with our spoke card logo on it (mixed blessing there, Jeff you’re a douche for this design btw), some tire levers, a star-nut replacement doohicky from FSA, a rain gear top, and a bunch of beer and food. I made out good, and others made out way better. There were several cranks, a set of pedals, some arm warmers, shirts, hats… As stated earlier Bill won the friggin Dahon. The list goes on. Big thanks to all the sponsors, to Derrick for organizing this travesty, and for everyone for making this a great fucking ride.
HERES A FACEBOOK GALLERY WITH NOTES AND STUFF
Onward.
keep looking »





















































